Organized Chaos

Today... 

Today, is the day my life changed forever... 

Today, is the day they gave me the news I NEVER wanted to hear...

Today, I cried and my heart broke...

Tonight, I put one foot in front of the other...

Tonight, I take one breath at a time until the drowning feeling passes...

Today... is the day my world flipped upside down. 

To the person who has lost their spark.

To the person whose get up and go, got up and went.

This is for you.

This is a reminder, that you don’t have to be everything to everyone, all the time.

That's not what you signed up for.

Remember when you used to laugh? Sing? 

Throw caution to the wind?

Remember when you used to forgive yourself for not being perfect?

You can have that back.

You can!

That doesn’t mean you are letting people down or pulling away. 

It just means putting yourself first sometimes, and feeling brave enough to say no.

Allowing yourself to stop sometimes.

And rest.

It begins when you realize that you’re not who you used to be. 

Some of that is good, some is not.

Parts of you need to be brought back.

If others are not okay with that, they are not your people. Your people will be excited to witness that spark reignite.

If you have been fading away slowly, now is the time to start saying yes.

Yes, to the things that bring you joy and no, to things that don’t.

It’s pretty simple.

If someone wants to be with you and I mean truly be with you, he will do everything in his power to make sure that you know.

There will be no games.

No words with hidden meanings.

No endless nights where you read over your conversations to try and add the pieces to a love puzzle that you have created in your mind.

You will just know and it is as simple as that.

You won’t have to figure anything out because his words will make it clear to you, his eyes will tell you, and his actions will show you.

If someone truly wants to be with you they will do everything in their power to get you.

And if they don’t. If you find yourself questioning what he says or the things he does, if he confuses you and gives you mixed signals, if he implies that he likes you but he doesn’t say it then he does not truly want to be with you.

Let me tell you what he’s doing.

He is trying to hold onto all of his options so that he ends up picking the right one.

He is testing you to see if you are good enough for him.

And you, my love, are not an option for anyone.

So remember this well. 

If someone wants to be with you, he will be with you.

~ Unknown 

Dating a woman who’s found peace in being alone is a whole different experience. She’s not dating out of boredom, loneliness, or to heal from something. she’s whole now. So shes not dating multiple guys.

She's protective of her peace, and she’s intentional!! She asks herself: Why would I give up this calm, secure space for someone who brings anxiety, confusion, or doubt? At this stage, bare minimum effort doesn’t move her. She can care less about GM texts. she’s not looking to be rescued. she’s looking to be respected!!

So fellas, when you meet someone on this level, youre going to have to be a MAN!! Because let’s be honest. Alot of you these days think the first date is a ticket to sex.

That you’re owed something just because you paid the bill.

You’re not. That’s not being a man.

Here’s what being a man looks like. Especially in todays dating landscape :

– You take initiative
– You pick a decent place (not expensive—just intentional)
– You show up on time!!
– You listen! Make eye contact !!
– You ask thoughtful questions
– You lead the conversation with depth
– You don’t try to perform, impress, or manipulate

And when it’s done, you drop her off (or walk her to her car), and go home!! Alone. Quiet. Whole.

Because you weren’t there to score.
You were there to connect. To understand. To observe.

To be a man!

She doesn’t need you to act rich.
She needs you to act stable.
To have purpose.
To hold a conversation that doesn’t orbit around “vibes” and “what are we?”

Masculinity is not about domination.
It’s about direction.
It’s about presence.
It’s about control.

And control doesn’t mean control over her.
It means control over yourself!!

You don’t need game from dating influencers .
You need grounding.

Be a gentleman.
Not for her, but for you!

Because real men don’t perform.
They lead!!

Because when a woman is happy alone, she’s calm. She’s healed. She’s protective of her space. And if the vibe feels like emotional turbulence wrapped in fake deep conversations and inconsistent affection, she's out!! So your little mindgames you’re use to playing, are not going to work with her.

~ Richard Logan

A gentleman knows the power of being there. He knows when to listen and allow her the space to empty her heart.

He knows when to offer soft affirmations, reminding her she is not alone. And most importantly, he knows when no words are needed—only for him to wrap his arms around her, holding her tightly, kissing the tears off her face, and allowing her to feel his protection.

To love someone is not to always try and solve the problems at hand; there are times you have to be the peace amidst her chaos.

An authentic man provides her with tranquility, courage, and complete assurance of her being immensely cherished.

~ Neena Gupta.