Organized Chaos

I am a woman with a soft heart and a sharp spine. My intentions are clean, my actions are considered, and my kindness is deliberate. But do not mistake my open hands for empty pockets of endless tolerance. My goodness does not live in how much I endure. It lives in how clearly I see, how honestly I choose, and how firmly I close the door when a line is crossed.

I can give you the shirt off my back without giving you the right to tug at my collar. I can listen with patience and still decline what does not sit right with my spirit. I can keep the peace and still refuse to swallow disrespect. Being kind is not the same as being available for misuse.

I offer grace, not permission to repeat the same harm. I can forgive what I understand, but I will not fold myself into a smaller shape so that your comfort remains undisturbed. If you want softness from me, bring respect. If you want my time, come with truth. If you want access, show up with care.

Being a good person is not measured by the weight of what I carry for others. It is measured by the clarity with which I decide what belongs to me and what does not. I will help you move your burdens, but I will not drag them behind me when you will not even lift a finger.

My boundaries are not walls against love. They are gates for dignity. They are the shape of my self-respect. They are how I keep my goodness from crumbling under the pressure of other people’s comfort. If my limits make you uncomfortable, it is not because I am unkind. It is because you met a door you cannot kick down.

I have learned that people will ask for the world when they are not asked for accountability. So here is my price of admission: consistency, honesty, and effort. Show up the way you say you will. Say what you mean and follow through. If that feels like too much, my absence will feel like a surprise only once.

I do not owe anyone access to me simply because I am understanding. Understanding explains behavior. It does not excuse it. I can see where you come from and still guard where I am going. Compassion is my compass, not my chain.

I will not be the place you heal by breaking me. I can hold space, but I am not your landfill. Bring your mess if you bring your broom. I am not here to swallow your storms and call it love. I am here to invite you into the calm we build together.

Saying no is not a confession of cruelty. It is an act of alignment. It is how I keep my yes bright, my effort honest, and my spirit unspilled. If you hear no and only taste bitterness, you were listening for control, not connection.

There are people who define goodness as silence. I am not one of them. I will speak up when the room expects me to shrink. I will name the truth when the script begs me to nod along. My voice is not loud because I am angry. It is clear because I am free.

Do not come to me asking for unlimited patience while offering limited respect. My time is not a buffet you pick from when you’re bored and leave when you’re full. If you want priority, stop treating me like an option. I will not be a waiting room for someone else’s growth.

I choose myself without apologizing. Not because I think I am better than anyone, but because I finally understand that my life belongs to me. I can’t pour from a cup that I allow others to puncture. I can’t be generous if I keep bleeding for the wrong reasons.

I am not afraid to leave the table when the menu is only versions of my own silence. If I have to beg for basic care, it is not a table. It is a trap. My hunger for peace will not be fed by crumbs of validation.

There was a time I believed enduring was proof of love. That time is over. Love without accountability breeds entitlement. Care without boundaries breeds resentment. I am finished applauding behavior that asks me to disappear.

I hold people to the same standard I hold myself: if you break it, you fix it; if you take it, you return it; if you say it, you mean it. Consistency is not a luxury. It is the currency of trust. I accept no substitutes.

My kindness has edges now. Not to cut, but to carve. It shapes what matters and trims what does not. It lets the light in and keeps the rot out. If you call that cold, ask yourself who benefited from me being numb.

I do not audition for roles that require me to be smaller. I do not dilute my joy to make it easier to swallow. If my wholeness is “too much,” then my absence will be perfect. I am not a whisper. I am a clear sentence, thoughtfully spoken.

I love deeply, but not blindly. My heart has eyes, and they have learned to read the fine print. I check for reciprocity. I look for effort. I notice patterns. Care is not real if it only shows up when it is convenient.

I am done proving I am worthy by how little I ask for. Worth is not a coupon you clip from someone else’s approval. It is a quiet certainty that guides your choices. Mine tells me to ask for what I give.

I know the difference between patience and postponement of self. Patience is time invested. Postponement is time surrendered. One grows a garden; the other starves a soul. I choose to plant. I refuse to starve.

I will not apologize for requiring presence in a world obsessed with promises. I do not need empty declarations. I need showing up. I need showing care. I need showing respect. If that feels heavy, you are not ready to carry what you ask to hold.

Boundaries are not ultimatums; they are instructions for how to love me well. They tell you where I end and where you begin. They keep the water clean and the bridge strong. Without them, we drown together. With them, we cross together.

I have retired from turning warnings into invitations. When I see the signs, I do not decorate them with hope. I take them as truth and act accordingly. There is wisdom in a quick exit. There is grace in a firm goodbye.

My peace is not up for negotiation. It is the floor, not the ceiling. I do not trade it for attention, for crumbs, for almost. I lived too long in rooms where I did not fit to forget that I was allowed to build my own.

I am not a lesson you learn by hurting. I am a standard you meet by growing. If you cannot meet me with care, meet me with distance. I will not shrink to make the unready comfortable.

I choose the version of me that looks me in the mirror with steady eyes. The one who can say, I was kind, and I was clear. I was open-hearted, and I was self-assured. I offered grace, and I honored my limits. That is not contradiction. That is integrity.

If you think goodness means endurance without end, you do not understand goodness. Goodness tells the truth. Goodness takes responsibility. Goodness knows when to stay and when to go. And when I go, I do not slam the door. I close it with care and lock it with wisdom.

I am a woman with intentions that are pure, a mind that is calm, and a backbone that does not bend for disrespect. I will pour love like water and draw lines like borders, because both are necessary for life to flourish.

So understand me clearly: I can be gentle and still say no. I can be generous and still keep a key for myself. I can be understanding and still refuse to be used. That is not hardness. That is humanity. That is the art of being a woman who knows that her good heart is not a leash, and her limits are not a flaw. That is me, standing whole, a living promise that love with boundaries is love that lasts.

-Steve De'lano Garcia

It's becoming such a rarity this day and age to find someone to fall in love with and actually stay in love with. 

People seem to forget how beautiful it is to grow old with someone, to build with them, and to witness someone's progression and to conquer obstacles as a team instead of facing them alone. 

I guess you could say there's not enough thrill in it for most people now days.

There's no thrill in comfortability and knowing someone so in depth, that you can finish what they are going to say, before they even say it. 

That's why you can call me an old soul.

I don't need to go out and jump from person to person every other week to fulfill my boredom with temporary happiness. 

I have always wanted something real, someone so genuine that they're worth lasting a litetime with. 

Someone who's willing to invest their time and effort that's needed to win instead of forfeiting when "there's no coming back."

The older I get, the more I understand it's nearly impossible nowadays to count on someone with all your heart and soul. 

 I guess that's why you can consider me as one of the rare ones.

 I'm not just in it for a reason, season, or lifetime…

I'm in it for all three.

~ CB

"Please, I cannot stress this enough: take mixed signals, inconsistency, and wishy-washy behavior as a no. Not a maybe. Not a someday. A no.

Your nervous system is not a guessing game. Your mind and heart deserve calm, and calm grows where clarity lives. If they wanted you, you would know.

If you are confused, it is because they benefit from your confusion. Refuse to be the person who keeps translating their silence into stories that make you wait.

Real interest is not cryptic. Real interest has a rhythm you can trust. It texts back, it follows through, it remembers what matters to you.

It does not vanish when accountability knocks. It does not turn warm at midnight and cold by daylight. It is consistent, not convenient.

You will not have to audition for a part that was already written with your name on it. If someone truly wanted to be in your life, they would make it unmistakable.

They would show up on the good days and the gritty ones. They would lean in when it is time to talk and lean steady when it is time to act.

You would not be stuck decoding their tone like a puzzle with missing pieces. Love that is meant for you does not hide in the shadows and ask you to bring the flashlight. It steps forward. It speaks plain.

Stop dressing up their absence as mystery. Stop calling it chemistry when it is chaos. Stop giving your peace away in exchange for a breadcrumb of attention.

You are not hard to love. You are just asking for the basic respect that healthy people consider the starting line. If they flinch at the word consistent, believe them.

Your future cannot be built on a shrug. Your standards are not a burden; they are your protection. Boundaries are not walls to keep love out; they are doors that only open for what is real.

When someone values you, they do not gamble with your trust. They do not ask you to be patient while they decide if you are worth it. The right person is decisive about you because they are sure of themselves.

They choose you in public, in private, and in practice, not just in promise. Indecision is a decision, and it is rarely in your favor. When they “don’t know,” they do know.

They just do not want to lose access to you while they look for something else. That is not romance; that is emotional loitering. You are allowed to ask, What are we doing?

You are allowed to require an answer that sounds like a plan, not a poem. If clarity makes them nervous, let them go be brave somewhere else. Do not confuse effort with excuses.

There will always be a reason they could not call, could not meet, could not commit. Let their pattern speak louder than their paragraph. Consistency is not glamorous, but it is golden.

It is how trust breathes. It is how your nervous system learns to rest without holding its breath. You deserve someone who shows up without hesitation.

Someone who respects your time the way they respect their own. Someone who keeps their word without you turning into a detective. Someone who makes you feel safe, seen, and steady.

Love is not supposed to feel like waiting in line for a door that never opens. If you are always on hold, hang up. Stop bargaining with yourself to make their bare minimum look like effort.

Stop shrinking your needs to fit inside their comfort zone. Stop romanticizing the almost. Almost will starve you slowly.

Choose the person who chooses you in full. Choose the life where your heart is not a cliff edge. Your peace is sacred. Treat it like it pays the rent, because it does.

It pays for sleep. It pays for focus. It pays for the version of you who smiles without checking the room for danger.

Do not spend your peace financing someone else’s uncertainty. Protect it the way you wish someone had protected your younger self. Walk away from maybe, so you can walk toward yes.

Walk away from confusion, so you can walk toward clarity. Walk away from performance, so you can walk toward partnership. Your future will thank you for every door you closed on half-hearted love.

Your standards will not scare the right person; they will filter for them. Here is your reminder and your permission: if they are mixed, it is a no; if they are inconsistent, it is a no; if they are wishy-washy, it is a no.

Not because you are cold, but because you are clear. Not because you are difficult, but because you are done bleeding for answers that should have been spoken.

Choose the path that lets your soul exhale. Choose the love that stands up, shows up, and does not make you guess.

Your peace is worth more than their indecision, and your heart is worth more than almost."

Saying I'm sorry, is not the same as saying I'll change.

Saying I care about you, is not the same as saying I'm committed to you.

Saying I need you, is not the same as saying I value you.

Saying I want you, is not the same as saying I need you.

Saying I want to be with you, is not the same as saying I'll make time for you.

Saying I'm going to try, is not the same as saying I'm going to be consistent.

Words can sound beautiful and can be nice to hear, but it's what comes after those words that truly matter in this life.

It's what someone shows you through their actions that show you their true intentions.

Love and respect will never be found in words.

Take my advice and pay attention to what people show you .....

because who they have decided to be is something that their words can't hide forever.

~ CB

There’s nothing more attractive to a woman than a man who knows he wants her... and isn’t afraid to show it.

A man who admits it. Says it. Shows it. Daily. A man who sends those “good morning” and “good night” texts not just out of habit, but because he genuinely wants to remind her...you’re the first and last thing on my mind. A man who doesn’t leave her guessing. Doesn’t keep her confused. Doesn’t treat her feelings like a game. He’s clear, he’s consistent, and he’s proud to make her feel chosen.
Because real love doesn’t play it cool. Real love shows up.

A woman doesn’t need perfection. She’s not asking for a man with all the money or all the answers. She’s asking for reassurance. For presence. For effort. She wants to feel seen. Heard. Wanted. She wants a man who gives her time, attention, and affection without being asked. A man who makes her feel safe...not just physically, but emotionally. Someone who makes her feel like she’s not competing with the world for his energy, because his eyes are only on her.

And when a woman feels that kind of love? She blooms. She softens. She thrives. She pours back double. Because she finally feels emotionally secure...like she’s no longer begging for the bare minimum or trying to “earn” love that should’ve been freely given in the first place.

So yes... there’s something deeply attractive about a man who isn’t afraid to love out loud. A man who’s intentional. Who pays attention. Who chooses his woman every day, not just in words, but in effort. That kind of man? He doesn’t just win her... he keeps her.

~ JH

I'm not trying to brag or anything, 

but I made it the whole week,

without turning my feelings into felonies!

If you did too, take a minute to give yourself a pat on the back. Celebrate that victory!

Now, let's try and keep that positive energy going through the weekend. 

You got this!

Every man says he wants a woman with a big heart. He wants her kindness, her warmth, her nurturing spirit. He wants her to love him deeply, to forgive easily, to be patient, to hold him down when life gets hard. But what men don’t always realize is… a woman with a big heart also comes with big emotions.

That kind of heart doesn’t love halfway. It doesn’t know how to be lukewarm. It loves loudly, boldly, fearlessly. And with that kind of love comes intensity. She’s passionate. She feels everything deeply....the highs, the lows, the joy, the hurt. When she’s happy, she lights up every room she walks into. But when she’s sad or disappointed, you’ll feel that too. Not because she’s dramatic or “too emotional”… but because her heart was never designed to play small.

You can’t expect a woman with a big heart to have small emotions. You can’t expect her to turn her feelings down just because they’re inconvenient. That’s not who she is. She loves hard, and she hurts hard. And if you’re not ready to handle both, you’re not ready for her at all.

But if you can embrace her fullness....if you can stand in the depth of her feelings instead of running from them....you’ll experience a love most men only dream of. A love that’s pure, loyal, patient, and rare. A love that chooses you every single day, even when it’s hard.
Because a woman with a big heart? She’s a once-in-a-lifetime kind of woman. And she doesn’t love lightly… she loves forever.

~ JH