Organized Chaos

Today was ridiculously busy!! My Wednesdays always are... part of my day includes making my office mate laugh so she doesn't cause a code white! Part of it is keeping my little leprechaun bestie out of HR!! Which is a daily struggle and also includes being the voice of reason..... me? Scary, right?

Don't tell anyone I'm a responsible badass! 🤫

We are both heads of our departments, we work under the same umbrella, but in different areas. 

Well, her team decided to act up, as they do, and not only affected her department, but also mine for tomorrow. It took A LOT to keep her off the ledge as she forgot to take her meds this morning. Namas... NOPE! 😂

So I introduced her to the sexshop website.....well, fekk me!! 

She's in my office, leaning over my desk, pushing her phone in my face, "Bish, LOOK AT THIS!!" She was like a toddler in a candy store!!! Then the FLOOD of questions and show and tell started...... 

She then asks me the difference between a dildo and a dong..... it went down hill fast from there....she found a strap on face dildo 🤦‍♀️.... her new obsession.... she's getting it to wear for Halloween! Then went off on a tangent about slapping her husband with it.....to her wearing it to work, and dick slapping anyone that pissed her off! (Complete with demonstration). Lord help us all!!

My WhatsApp has been having a stroke since she got home with all the pictures she is sending me, asking what it is used for?  She's very naive. I told her to stay out of the kink folders and she'd be okay. 

She has no toys so I told her about the Satisfyer yesterday. Well low and behold the sexshop had it on sale when I got home so I ordered her one. I told her I was going to wrap a bow around it and leave it on her desk. 😂

That caused my five foot flashbang to go off!! 

This should be interesting when it arrives!! 

She's already planning an "education lesson" date for us at the sex shop on our lunch.....

Pray for me, y'all! I've created a MONSTER!! 🫣

YOU GOT THIS!  Let's make today count! Do something today your future self will thank you for! You don't have to make waves, but start little ripples. 

So much this! 

I have been here off and on for 5 years. I have had to take breaks because the gossip and drama can be unreal at times!

I don't do drama, attention seeking, or people that don't stay in their own lane. 

We are all supposed to be adults.... I left high school a long time ago. 

It's hilarious the things that I have heard over the years. I would learn new stuff about myself every day! Very educational. 😉😂

I used to care in the beginning, and would waste my time letting it affect me, or trying to correct people. 

Now, I straight up don't care. I have learned the hard way not to fully trust people here. Not everyone that appears to be your friend, is. I freely admit I am more guarded and keep everyone at arms length. 

I run with my pms locked and am very selective who I reply too. Some say I'm a bitch, and maybe I am. 

I'm definitely less trusting and more detached with people than I was when I started. I come here to shoot the shit, then be on my merry way. I am also super selective of what I share about myself. 

Cage has been the downfall of many happy couples as it can be very toxic at times. I have witnessed many promising dynamics crumble under the influence of Cage. 

I think the turning point for me, was when people were saying I said things/did things, and my internet was OFF all weekend. I wasn't even in an area which supported it. 

It made me truly see how toxic Cage can be. I'm sure any social media platform has it's issues. That's part of the reason I have a very small online footprint.

I have always and will always make my own decisions about people. They will be based on my experiences with them, not anyone else's. I am my own person, period.

There are some positive aspects of Cage. It has its purpose, and can serve you well, depending on how you use it.  

She never set out to become strong, independent or resilient, but life had other plans.

She didn’t choose the path her life took- it chose her..

So she did what she had to do, grew stronger when she needed to and learned how to fight back, rise above and keep going..

Even when she felt like quitting so many times.

That’s not who she is or will ever be, though.

She doesn’t know how to stay down, accept defeat or be okay with giving up.

Truth is, she never saw half of what happened coming and she definitely had no idea how to make it through..

But she figured it out-

She always has.

It might not always be graceful, well planned or executed flawlessly…but she gets it done.

She’s not always had the strength or fortitude to push through and there were so many times she thought life would pull her under, but somehow, she would fight through.

The storms she has survived have made her appreciate the rainbows after the rain..

And she’s thankful for the moments that have turned into memories, people that turned into friends and the setbacks that turned into comebacks.

There will always be hard days, formidable challenges and stormy times..

But she’s learned to never let it overwhelm her or make her question herself.

She’ll find the answers, figure out the path forward and dig deeply to find her strength- she always has.

She’s more than a survivor, she’s a warrior with a heart of gold and an iron will.

For her, this life wasn’t ever a choice-

It’s who she was meant to be.

And as surely as tomorrow will rise, the first rays of sunrise will find her doing what she does best..

Living purposefully and loving passionately.

She’s got this,

And she always will..

Because she is me..

And I’m a strong woman,

And that’s what strong women do.

Overcome, fly high and shine brightly.

~ Ravenwolf

She's not going to pursue you.

She's not going to sit there and prove her worth to you with every day that passes.

She's not going to try and manipulate you to believe that she's better than everybody else.

Because she already knows she is.

She knows she's the best thing that will ever come into your life.

She knows she's not perfect but ....

She knows what she's been through. She has healed numerous times from the trauma that nobody apologized for, and she finally knows how valuable her life truly is.

If you get a chance to be a part of her life, you should consider it a blessing.

If she allows you to see parts of her that she hides away from the outside world ... you need to consider this a blessing as well.

If she wants you to be a part of her life, then it's for a specific reason.

She doesn't waste her time on temporary conversations anymore.

She has finally come to the conclusion that her time is precious, so she's not going to waste it on someone who doesn't realize she is too.

~ Cody Bret

THIS IS 100% ME!

For the last 5 years, I have grown so much.

I no longer make excuses for people's bad behaviour, nor do I tolerate it.

I no longer entertain people or conversations that don't serve me.

I don't beg anyone to stay in my life, and I don't chase anyone.

So, you want to go? I wish you well. 

Getting divorced was probably the best thing that happened to me. It forced me to grow, mature, and work on my personal development. I let others push my boundaries because I didn't like the feeling when people were mad at me. I'm also forever the optimist, so I let people have more chances than they deserved.

I have learned to move in silence, stay in my own lane, and focus on the things I can control. The biggest thing I've learned is to not try and change people's perception of me. You want to think the worst of me or something untrue, that's on you. I no longer waste my breath trying to correct people.

The biggest thing I have learned is how to make myself happy instead of relying on others. I learned to love myself. Most of all, I learned my worth!!

More importantly, I've learned not to let others' opinions affect my value!!

My evil minions and I all have matching "Let Them" rings that came with this poem.  We try to embrace this thinking.

This popped up on my feed today so I figured it was the universe telling me to share. 

If they want to choose something or someone over you, LET THEM.

If they want to go weeks without talking to you, LET THEM.

If they are okay with never seeing you, LET THEM.

If they are okay with always putting themselves first, LET THEM.

If they are showing you who they are and not what you perceived them to be, LET THEM.

If they want to follow the crowd, LET THEM.

If they want to judge or misunderstand you, LET THEM.

If they act like they can live without you, LET THEM.

If they want to walk out of your life and leave,
hold the door open, AND LET THEM.

Let them lose you.
You were never theirs, because you were always your own.
So let them.

Let them show you who they truly are, not tell you.
Let them prove how worthy they are of your time.
Let them make the necessary steps to be a part of your life.
Let them earn your forgiveness.
Let them call you to talk about ordinary things.

Let them take you out on a Thursday.
Let them talk about anything and everything just because it’s you they are talking to.

Let them have a safe place in you.
Let them see the heart in you that didn’t harden.

Let them love you. 

~ Cassie Phillips

You're attached to people who have been on and off with you for an extended period of time. 

You pay attention to people who only make time for you when it's convenient for them. 

You're too caring to people who could care less about you.

You give attention to people who take you for granted and put you on the back burner because they think no matter what they do, you will never leave. 

Do me a favor and accept people for who they are, & leave them where they belong.

~ Cody Bret

Sometimes I think about the different characters I play in everybody’s story.
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I’m a terrible person in some people's narratives and a Godsend in others.
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And none of it has anything to do with the person I truly am.
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The lens that others view you through is coloured by their upbringing, beliefs, and individual experiences.
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Some people see your bright personality as endearing and others see it as annoying.
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Some people think you’re weak and emotional and others feel safe to be themselves around you.
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Some people think you’re rude and selfish and others respect the way you stand up for yourself.
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Some people admire the way you take pride in the way you look and others think you’re conceited.
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And none of it has to do with who you truly are as a person.
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What you have to understand is that you have no authority over how people view you so never try to control the way others see you because the only thing that truly matters when the dust settles down at the end of the day is what you genuinely see in yourself.

~Cody Bret

After Friday and Monday off, my clinic is a fekking dumpster fire!

I will pull off miracles tomorrow but.....

I'm done with adults and adulting for today!

If you need me, I'll be in my fort watching cartoons and eating cookies!