Another dark morning capturing the silence with ease and moving through a dark nabourhood lit only by only a few street lights. Oh how they showcase the falling snow in such a glistening sparkle only to be seen by those wakefull minds out and about before the dawn of the day. The real magic is the darkness. The absents of light, of hope, of grace, or even life. What glistening snowflake could look more beautiful than one shimmering before its empty canvas. Showing off its splender one time and one place only before it fades and becomes nothing more than an invisible fixture, An accumulation of burnt out beauty. Though the darkness lives on to accompany all the snow flakes as they all fall obliviously through their debut dazzling hearts and minds. So gracefully they fall weather surrounded by darkness or dazzled by light, just in case a tired soul may be warmed and inspired by their sight!
I love My Mistress! I feel I could always become better for her. I wait and feel tempted though I see her and her big beautiful eyes looking down into me before her. I love to wait and save up every last drop of cum just for my Miss. After all she is the only one who could drain these balls full to the brim from clear across the country. Plus I can't and won't ever cum without My Miss. She deserves all of what is hers. I want my Miss to be happy and satisfied with my performance. With her cock and her boy doing what she likes boys to do for her.
I also really want her to feel loved and that I'm always here. It's just that sometimes I get carried away doing things offline, or frustrated with offline life in general since at times it feels very uncertain. I always like to think I will make things up to her ten fold or more if I can.
She is the Miss I needed so many lonely nights. She is so brave and beautiful that I feel safe knowing my body and mind are in her possession. I dont have to push or fake with her or feel uncomfortable, or shy and nervous like with other women cuz they are subs like me. I Just let go and let her have my submission. A part of me I haven't ever been able to trust with anyone else. So if I may blush a bit, My Domme has taken My sub virginity and I love that so Much, I'm so glad.
I'm a cluts, I forget packages, stay up late, life always up in the air, I'm moody, and emotional , but my Miss always taps me back into my place where I belong. I can't wait to wear her gifts and to meet her in person. Maybe I'm silly but I can't wait for her to tie me up and show me who my balls really belong to.
My Mistresses hugs, kisses, and love for me and my body have made me a better person and showed me that I've been a sub all my life. It's just with her I dont have to be ashamed to lay down and be the bottom that I am. It sends shivers and tingles through my body and I just want to dance naked. Smiles and blushes.
Love You Miss Radi!!!
Words are said at night and words are said under the light of day. They are used for many things that people want to say.
The harsh words ive heard from many a time or two, though all I hear is whats behind them ringing from their hearts so true.
Ive heard them from co-workers, siblings, and all who wish to argue and win. They say it to make you feel the pain and shame of disipointment and sin.
I am numb to the sound of emotional children pokeing me with soundwaves and dirty looks. They do not know what I know about them from reading informative books.
Now I have brang up a word to my mistress who I adore. The word with meaning attached regarded so cruel is the word whore.
Whail people your close to can hurt you most when they do not care. But I dont feel hurt by you with the amount I feel I can share.
So these words that carry weight I trust you with to my core. So when you say them you allow my heart to lift and sore.
As they vibrate between my legs on the highest setting, all those who have hurt me I have no problem forgetting.
Not one orgasm but the second for the night. Tommorow I wake up ready and full of might.
Because I am not numb with you my Miss, and all I have to say to you now is this.
I am not afraid of these words if you say them even when people stair, because I always know in the back of my mind how much you really care.
Although from some these words sound mean and even corny. Though when you say them Miss they only make me horny!
I love my Domme. Ive felt alone many a day as a child and as an adult. There is something so great about her that I just cannot believe im finally lucky enough to have found.
She sees me with my guard down when I let her into my most intimate of activities to own my vulnerability and my raging hormones. She is not ashamed of my body and she tells me how much she loves it. When I've been too shy to even talk about sex she makes me absolutely horny and I couldnt be happier to wait every second for her to allow me to be her naughty boy.
I cant even explain how she makes me feel without doing my feelings an injustice. Its just one of those feelings that cannot be captured in words, it must be felt, it must be absolutely vibrating from the inside of your heart and soul to even pretend to have a glimps of how it feels to be hers, and I wouldnt want it any other way.
My anxiety washed away, my tears mitigated by her soothing voice, and her unwavering ownership of my body and mind. When im alone im not alone. I know my Domme is there and I care for her so much.
I crave for her to smile and I long to make her happy. This is not about me, this is not about haveing my needs met, though she satisfies them so thouroughly Im not sure she is even human lol! She is my dominant and every moment of pleasing her as her submissive is the heavin on earth I never thought I would experience.
Someone to look up to and someone to lay down for. She is the love my life has never seen. She thinks im just being sweet but I know im being exactly what she deserves. A good boy that isnt afraid give her his balls and his heart!
I AM YOURS MISS!!!
Please only read with your salt handy. (I get a bit deep sometimes lol)
I know what its like to be young and nieve.
I know what its like to beleive that everone knows something you dont.
I know what its like to be alone around narsasists reading you shaking you manipulating you.
I know what its like to not understand them but continusly read them, learning slowly understanding.
I know what its like to have them peirce your thoughts and feelings with very loud yelling and aggressive words
I know what its like for someone to try day after day to corrupt you with into being as they are.
I know what its like to see them intimidate asking question not knowing the difference between diplomate and intimidated pray.
I know what its like to understand their pain, in their lonely box of lies.
I know what its like to fear them and to trust them at the same time
I know what its like to be led to nowhere, to a dead end of confrontation and broken promises.
I know what its like to lie to appease them, to hold my heart back in fear.
I know what its like for them to try and teach you that your better than others, that others are underneith you.
I know what its like to have them disregard valid advice from great successfull people.
I know what its like to watch a narcissist try to be better only to fail sinking deeper into anger.
I know what its like to watch them crash and burn, knowing all the lies came out at the end.
I know what its like to watch a narcissists loose all his power and look like a compleate fool.
I know what is like to look in their eyes and see pain, arrogance, and aggression.
I know what its like to feel sorry for them.
I know what its like to open my heart to them only to be violated and lied to over and over.
I know what its like to trust, and become sick to the stomach from lies.
I know what its like to cry, to smile, to feel pain and to not live in fear.
I know how to say thank you very much but I will never be like you. I will never heed your lessons because you are emotionally weak and destructive with yourself and others.
I know what its like to be vulnerable in the carnage of life
I know what its like to care for people and narcassistic people alike.
I know how to love the beauty that is everywere.
I know how to leave that lonely dark box of lies and forgive what is unforgettable.
I know how to be awesome in the face of utter failure.
I know how to care!
Before really soul searching and finding kink, I would have hid any and all evidence that I loved this song. Now, well besides respecting my fellow humans I just dont give a shit lololol!
I think its hilarious and i can relate to the very flamboyant "I want to break free"!!!
Hope you get a laugh this morning, and break fee baby!!!! LoL!!!
Queen "I want to break free"
Something I think about alot when I feel frozen, is how to break free. I think some would call it apathy or depression. I see it more as time well spent in the pressure cooker. One that forces you to look deep into yourself! I hope those that read this will enjoy it, as I think many of us can relate to this as we try to better ourselves. Thanks for reading!
As if sealed within a container cut off from the outside world, your weekness comes to say hello and remind you that you are just a little spec of dust in this cosmic reality.
You may try to prove your worth for months or even years, but each time, at some point or another youll find yourself back in that pressure cooker wondering who you are and why your here. What is the point of proveing yourself to yourself if your just a spec of dust, here just long enough to know you existed.
In that dark cold vessle you'll begin to loose who you are. You'll begin to wonder if you ever were at all.
Your insecurities come at you one by one taunting you, forcing you to look at yourself. You fight so hard to push that mental image of yourself out of your head. You cant stand to think of what youll loose if these things were to consume you, to magnify themselves so massivly that everyone you ever knew would know how scared you are inside.
Sitting still, becomes a chore and leaveing is too terrifying to hold as a valid option.
The world spins out of control as you cant take the pressure anymore. Fighting to hold your feet down on the ground you suddenly freeze in your tears and confess to the blackness of your mind that your a fraud. A fake, looser, idiot, moron, slut, can't do anything rite.
Fully broken inside with no one els around for lightyears, and darkness covering that same expance you let out that tear jerking scream of life. The most honest thing you have ever said with the most conviction youve ever said anything. "IM FUCKING NOTHING OK" " IVE GOT NOTHING, I HAVE NOTHING, I AM NOBODY!!!!!!!!!!!"
Your chest begins to loosen up as the tears drip off your face. "AHHHHHHH!!!!" a last sceam echoes from your breath into the abyss as more tears pour from your tierd eyes. You sit sobbing inconsolably for a time, takeing in your realization of how much you are not made of!
Is that a light you see far off in the distance. It seems to be moveing closer very slowly. Suddenly thousands of stars begin to light up all moveing in your direction at the same time picking up immence speed.
That stupid little smirk apears on your face as if you had no idea this was going to happen, as all the stars blast straight at you, filling your entier being will radiance and love.
Now like never before you understand what other people need and want and feel. You dont see yourself in so many negative ways anymore. All you see is possibilities to become something amaizing. Something more than nothing and nobody. Something that gives value to everything and everyone around you! Something worth all the stars in the universe!
I woke up early as my body twizzled with excitment! I move quietly like a ninja in enemy teritorry makeing sure not to wake my owner as she deserves to sleep and rest whial I work for her day to start so elegently!
First I set up the washroom just how she likes it, with everything in place where she needs it to be so she will be so very happy with me just after she wakes!
I move to the kitchen as if Gordan Ramsy is yelling in my ear, and I begin to cook such a wonderous breakfast that I have been planning quietly for a week!
Ive made sure and took special care that all the ingredience are to her liking. I want her to have an orgasm in her mouth. I want her to make those subtle noises of satisfaction that are like music to my ears!
Back and forth from the stove to the counter frying, flipping, cutting, basting, sweating, and thinking of the look on my owners face when she realizes what Ive done!
Ive washed all her clothes (without wrecking them lol ) and I've ironed and folded what needed to be so she can look and feel her best!
I now have everything ready for her when she walkes through the threshold of the dining room, everything will be set up to mesmerize her sensuality.
A perfect tastebud tantalizing plate sits coverd to preserve warmth and freshness.
Im standing at the kitchen sink washing all the dishes I've made thoughout the morning as I hear a nerve peircing "WHAT are you doing my pray?!!!"
In a split second I drop the dish cloth and bolt for safety in my rainbow knee socks, purple lace male panties and spice girls t-shirt. I run letting out a cry of laughter and fear to the stairs where I slip on the first one catching myself and frantically pushing myself back to my feet, as she pushes me back down and grasps my hair firmly without any give or sway in tightness.
"What do you think your doing princess, you think your my little wife?" "Yea" " you do, hmmmm; well then we're going to have to get you down on your knees where you belong arent we?" As she pulls my panties tight between my legs from just above my tale bone. Im sure I can feel every single nerve light up another everytime she touches me. still gripping my hair I'm escorted back into the kichen, where cuffes are placed on my wrists and ankles as I'm led to my knees beside my dominants chair. All four cuffs are locked together is I kneel quietly with my head down to acknowlage my respect for my keeper.
Finnaly a coller is placed and locked around my kneck compleate with a leach pulled tight drawing my head to rest on my dominants naked thigh. Slowly and loveingly the leash is wrapped around her thigh keeping me secured to my position of undusturbed connection with the sences of the one I choose to submit my body and mind to!
I sit quietly full to the brim with excitment, and almost climaxing with orgasmic intensity while my dominant plays with my hair and moans as she swallows every bite. I let a thought slip through as it feels so natural to think that breakfast will never be the same again!
Read my fantacy if you dare! I dare not hide it or run from it. I will walk through hell for love if i must!
I can handle darkness. I could be pinned down in hell in the darkest of dark. No sound, no light, no way to get up and escape. Where will my mind travel now, from the regens of time and space that have been framiliar. Will I sink into the abyss or will I climb the walls gripping with all the shear grit in my soul to freedom.
I feel the pain of leather slapping against my skin, and I know im not alone. I know someone is there with full attention on me, and a love fills me softening my nerves. I slip as if letting go of a wall and falling into love I never knew existed.
I dont want to escape when I know who is holding me in their possession. I crave to be there as she tightens the ropes that bind me. I pull on the ropes hard to taunt her like a stallion in a lasso. She removes the hearing deprevation to wisper in my ear. "You feel those ropes little boy? "Those are mine just like you. If you know whats good for you, you'll kiss my feet, and let me pet you like my very own tame little tiger wont you my pet?"
I resist by pulling the ropes yet again, as she spanks my bum hard, tightens all the ropes she can, and firmly cups my balls as she starts whipping me. "Do you hear me you little slut, I own you, your cum, your balls, your dick, your orgasms, they are all mine" she whippes me harder and I scream through the ball gag. (WHIP) "say it you little faggot" (WHIP)(WHIP)(WHIP) several times she makes me scream until tears roll down from under the blindfold. (WHIP)"Who do you belong to little boy???" As she releases the ball gag. I let out a broken wimper (to you misstress) "louder" she says as she whips me one last time, "louder you little whinney bitch, who ownes your little cock??" I use all the energy I have left to thrust my voice into the air. "I belong to you mistress" "good boy...... your such a good boy arent you my little bitch??" "Yes misstress!" "You smell this?", as she puts her fingers to my nose, "this is my pussy, now suck it off my fingers, hurry up and suck like a good girl would you little fag."
"Im going to let you out now and since your such a good boy you will jerk yourself off on my boots and give misstress your cum before you get cleaned up! You got that little boy?" as she gently slides her hand around my kneck almost tickling me. "Yes misstress" "who does your cum belong to" "its yours misstress" "your such a good boy arent you??" "Yes I am misstress" "good now get ready to come for mama you little girly fag boy!"
How beautifull it is to realize another world exists where you fit better. Those times throughout your entier life when you feel out of place.
It takes alot to admit to yourself that your just not emotionally strong enough for the people your around. Men encourage you to get back out there and ask her out, only to do the walk of shame yet again, as you slip into the friend zone or are completely turned down. All your friends start to wonder who you are. Lol!
Or they would say things like, "how are you not gay?" The questions that start to take a humorus tone, as no one can understand the fog of confussion you live in. "You know when I find out ill be sure to let you know". Then ther are the straight men that start to look at you kind of sexually, and you laugh to yourself and think, "I need to get the fuck out of here" hahahaha!
The one thing that makes you stronger is your ability to be strong on your own, as others form their relationships that grow and break over and over. You are there to have fun with them when they are single, and you know all too well how to make them feel better. You want to bring a smile back to their faces.
Lying in bed at night becomes the refuge from the day. You hide the fact that you would thrive to be held tightly in someones arms. Eww not a man, please not a man holding me! Lol. Its a womens touch you crave so badly it brings tears to your eyes.
To be held in her embrace. To hear her heartbeat in your ear as you lay gently on her chest. The smell of her hair relaxing your nerves, and the rise and fall of her breathing make you forget you were ever a seporate person, as your eyes slowly close thourougly content with who you are.
Then you wake up in the morning vulnerable, and lonely once again. Thinking how rediculus your fantacies make you! You put your armour on and ROAR at the world. "I will rock this entier fucking planet if I have to but I swear to god ill never fucking give up!"