Since I was a young teen , I felt like there was something i needed but couldn't find. I didn't know what it was. I searched. Finding a friend who seemed a bit different herself. She introduced me into Ddlg, she being a little herself. She made me my very first collar. Babygirl pink with white lace and a little bell. (We didn't really understand still being so new. I still have it to this day. She introduced me to a whole new world. Opened my eyes to what I was missing. What I was needing. It was not just a daddy, I needed someone in control. Someone I could follow and learn from. Someone who would protect me, love me, guide me, show me, someone who could see me at my worst and still say "It's okay, I'm here, I'm not going anywhere."
I felt like I was locked in a room, in the dark , for years. Finally able to see through the window as a teen, seeing what was possible.
Now being an adult, now being able to open a window and feel the breeze.
I thought I had found the man of my dreams at 16.
Only for him to turn into my nightmare.
Maybe someday, I will find someone who can see my darkness and still find it beautiful.