daily life apart from bdsm

well my sister keeps trying to get me to stay 

she wants me to stay 2 more years and I cant do that or i'm gonna go crazy 

I guess I'm gonna have to have a long talk with my sister but every time I do 

she doesn't understand why I want to leave but she has always been petty with my mom 

I don't understand that but that is me and this trip is about me and my son 

about what is best for us and I don't know how to make her understand that 

my son's birthday was yesterday and he was so happy he got a card and a stuffy from his teacher and he got 7 dollars from our next door neighbor 

he is so excited to see his grandmother and his grumpy 

I really loved learning everything that I learned at the bdsm summit it was fun learning more things about bdsm that I didn't even think of 

I am feeling a little bit better about having a little time until I leave we are excited and a little nervous 

I am relaxing a lot more to keep my stress levels down 

I am also slowly packing more stuff 

I have loved everything I have learned on my first day and I was loving every minute of it I definitely learned more about myself and what I want out of a dynamic 

I took notes and I filled 13 pages full of notes 

I learned more of what I like from the 7 different classes 

I also like learning new things about myself 

I have 2 months and 17 days left to move I also have $250 now I am also attending the bdsm summit and I am enjoying experiencing new things and I like learning from the bdsm summit 

I also got my son his tablet and he is excited to leave and I am finally getting the freedom I want away from my family and don't have anything that I have to do with them while I am here I feel like anytime I live with them I get screwed over or don't get paid back the money they ask for so I am done letting them borrow money or anything to do with them bc I don't want to feel obligated

I have been listening to my audio books and journaling and keeping myself busy so I don't think about all of what i'm thinking about  

I got my son's tablet today got everything set up 

only thing left for me to get is sneakers for myself and summer shoes 

wanting to meet more people that are willing to explore and discover new things with a submissive 

I have discovered new kinks for me and I am wanting explore it but not finding a lot of people that are willing to do it 

one of the new kinks is playing cat and mouse in the woods and setting a timer for myself to get caught 

I would also like to explore more bondage 

just looking for more ideas and wanting to explore more and what I might like with someone that will respect me and treat me kindly 

well when son came I found the switch is not working someone put it in sleep mode and someone interrupted sleep mode and now it has an error on it and won't let me do anything I followed the instructions on Google and it didn't work so now I am not allowing any stuff of his go over there 

I have all the money for the bus tickets and extra money so I am going to be counting down the days and still saving money and hopefully have extra money to get a p.o. box and hopefully buy some shorts

I have everything I need for this trip all I have to do is wait for the week we leave 

I also have to make sure I have money to ship a box to my moms so I don't so much into the suitcases 

my sister still want me to stay but I am not staying I can't stay here longer then I am right now 

we have 2 months and 22 days and we both are excited and I am also nervous 

we have to take a bus to a bigger city then wait 5 to 6 hours for the other bus then take 2 different trains then wait for my mom's boyfriend to pick us up and I am going to be exhausted but it is going to be worth it 

has anyone read LIGHTS OUT by NAVESSA ALLEN 

what are your options  like it love it or hate it  

my son went with his nana this weekend finally following through one of her promises I am glad he gets this time with her because she is dying she has brain cancer and with us moving he is going to be sad when it is time to say goodbye to her 

I just wish she took time like this time before her diagnosis to spend more time with him after she had her own kids

I don't think of her as a mom  besides her being my dad's wife 

I think I resent her and my dad because they both cheated on each other after being with each other after so many years 

I don't talk to my dad anymore because I don't want to be the only putting effort into this daughter-dad relationship 

I have always felt he didn't want me and now that I am an adult I still feel that I guess he just doesn't that relationship 

but I am glad that my step mom is putting an effort into seeing my son  

I have almost all the money for 2 tickets to leave 

my son is getting more irritated with his cousin 

he is doing better in school 

I only have to get my son his tablet for the trip 

I packed more stuff in vacuum sealed and put up and out of the way 

I have 2 book bag full of toys for my son 

I have to pay for 3 extra bags so I can take every thing 

my son keeps asking when we are going to be leaving 

I did an online job interview but haven't heard anything yet 

slowly taking time for myself so I feel better 

got my son off to the bus he seems excited for today 

packed away 3 vacuum seal bags of clothes 

going through all my things and throwing stuff away that I don't need 

I have 2 book bags full of my sons toys so he has some toys 

i'm feeling a little irritated with this whole process 

but I am bidding my time to leave 

I am slowly building up money to leave it is just hell waiting to have enough money to leave 

I have 65 saved up so far the bus tickets together is 168 dollars for 2 tickets 

I am also slowly packing away our clothes and my son's toys 

I plan on leaving as soon as the school year is over or as soon as I have the money 

I can honestly say I am scared and excited to be moving 

I have many plans in place just in case something goes wrong 

for the past 5 weeks my son has been telling me he wants to leave and go stay with grandma and grumpy 

I am honestly doing my best to leave but I also have to get both of our birth certificates and daily stuff we need month to month