For about two months now, every Wednesday, I've been doing Shibari classes down town.
And, it's definitely... enlightening to say the least...
When I first got into the whole thing, it was for someone else not really my self. Not that I didn't like the idea or didn't think it was impressive, I just had never done it before and honestly, I was bored and I wanted to impress them.
The issue though was that when that ended, I realized I only I liked the thought of being intimate with someone in that fashion, but lacked the respect or proper training so I couldn't comprehend it on a level that would have been needed from me... if that makes sense.
You live, You Learn.
But now, it's different.
I was introduced to these classes by a friend at work, A. She instructs, and we really bonded over the issues we have both faced in the community as black women, and also, the issues of being thrown into the community unknowingly at pretty young ages. Yes, I am 24; Yes, that is still young, but I have always been in relationships, vanilla and friendship alike where there has been some sort of power exchange dynamic. Rather it be healthy or not.
ANYWHO BACK TO THE STORY: A was talking about rope bondage and shibari, and how it helped her come to terms with all these big feelings that she was going through. To her, she described it as a way that she could process everything, without actually having to sit down and think about it. I thought she was being a little overly dramatic but I entertained the Idea. I was talking to a dom that was interested in it and I knew many other people or have tried it or consistently partake in it but I never thought of it in a way that just wasn't sexual. But, I liked the feeling she gave me when she talked about it. It was, refreshing. Like, she was excited and I guess that made me excited.
So here I am, 2 months later, with a new hobby on my belt. In the beginning I wasn't sure if I was going to like it but I stuck to it. I liked the fact that it forced me to do some sort of exercise; especially on days that I felt lazy.
It wasn't until recently though that I finally experienced was A did: I still go alone. I don't have a partner but luckily, the class I am in is mostly women with the exception of a few couples that stayed so it's easy to find another partner for the day plus, it helps that I am not shy whatsoever.
Last Wednesday, L our instructor increased the difficulty a little bit and introduced a tie called a GOTE tie or TK tie. It's like a fancy knotted harness and it has a lot of room for creativity. They usually ask for a volunteer to come up as like an example to show the rest of the class and I guess I was feeling spunky that day so I volunteered. First we stretched, they asked me to do some deep breathing exercises then got right to it once I was ready.
Listen, I don't know how long miss gurl was talking but it was like as soon as the rope went on this time, something ignited. It was trance like. When I kneeled as they worked around me (kneeling is easier since I am pretty tall and it helps the other person see what they're doing) , it's like I went into that weird inbetween stage of being half asleep but also half aware. I heard them instructing, I also heard them ask me questions and check on me as they continued but I didn't comprehend it. And I loved it. I got to finally know what it's like to be on autopilot. I was floating, and when they were done- I felt beautiful. I finally felt like that statue. Like I was living piece of art.
It's odd you know, I started off doing this for someone else, then continued doing it out of curiosity- and now, I am absolutely addicted. I am chasing a high that for once that isn't alcohol, sex, or outside attention to make me feel complete. This time, I am finally complete, just took some patience and rope LOLs.
ANywhoSes...
Sorry for the hiatus~ Buns
