Let's be real for a minute. Submissives are beautiful gifts but w/e do have our faults/issues. My biggest issue is a state of constant want, need or arousal. my sex drive is very high for some unknown reason yet my Sir is very tolerance of this and me. I always question if this is "normal". w/e can all define normal in different ways or with different words that have different meanings. i have come to learn to embrace who i am and just to accept the consequences that come with that. i do realize that as hard as it may be to accept/comply at times, my body is my Sir's and He gets the ultimate say and control over what happens with it.
Fortunately, i have a Sir who has been very giving and generous regarding play and permissions to have an orgasm but not always without a lesson. After all, He knows best and He may not always be so generous.
So today was an off day for me. When i get "bored" i start to over think or i will write to avoid distractions. i woke up aroused and dripping between my legs. Not a great start to the day as i really desired to get off from the glorious mess that now created an intense heat. It was early and my only option was to get permission from my SIr but would He be up or even allow it for that matter. i was embarrassed at the fact that after a "free day" yesterday i would need to possibly grovel again for such pleasures right away. There is always the reality check that Sir could simply say "no".
While considering my request, Sir's wicked side came out and commanded that i tie my nipples up taut/tight. i did what Sir requested and my arousal intensified at this painful pleasure...but He knew that would happen. Sir knows just about everything. i then in the midst of my torment was required to kneel and think about my service to Him. After all, it is not about my own pleasures but my service to Sir and i needed to remember that. i use my coping skills while thinking of Sir and yet i was being distracted in the process from my wanton lust. i managed to regroup and refocus on Sir and what i can do for Him. That in itself brings me such joy. When finished i respectfully notify SIr. The phone rings...its Sir. This was totally unexpected. I thought, this cannot be good and i have a feeling i am in trouble.
i try to talk to Him...i find it almost impossible to even open my eyes or answer SIr. Through His devious laugh, He decides that the nipple torture was merely not enough and that i needed additional learning. He mentions Ben Wa Balls. i was instructed to use them for an hour and then i was able to have my release. Okay, i wasn't ready nor was i expecting that either. "Go about your business today", He says. Easier said then done i think. i shall keep my other thoughts to myself as i know they are not appropriate...SNS...yes Sir, i am laughing.
i was able to make it 19 minutes before my body reacted by intermittent quivering and a pleasure that was fairly foreign to me. Sir thinks they were mini orgasms possibly. With every move, a gentle rolling...continuous torment to Sirs already aching/needing pussy...a dripping mess. At this time, i was extremely grateful i was not in the presence of Sir. i am shy for one but i would not last long with the intense glare of my Sir and His cryptic, devious smile. i most likely would have done something i would have regretted...(perhaps the biggest transgression of all...to pleasure immaturely and without permission) but i didn't, i just thought it so hopefully all is okay. i did report to Sir in hopes that it wouldn't be taken as a transgression and i am grateful it was not.
i stopped everything to lay down. i needed to process what my body was going through. i went to brush the sting from my nipples only to set them on fire as i caressed them. Curiosity killed the cat and i decided to pull the strings harder sending me into a state of euphoria. i yelled out in this pain that gave me so much rapture at the same time. i didn't care who heard, the screams were for my Sir. He should be so very pleased with Himself. i can almost feel a direct transgression of releasing before allowed to so i decided to place my ass right back down to meditate over my wanton lust/sin. "Pleasure comes from service" Sir says.
The hour past but not fast enough for a greedy fuck toy like myself. i did check in to make sure the time was correct and was able to release. To my dismay, it didn't take very long and it was very intense. Is there a moral to this story? You all better bet your sweet asses there is. So, to all submissives out there, here is my advice to you all....
1. always remember that you may get what you wish for and then some. Yes its cliche but "watch what you wish for"
always get permission and watch those transgressions (meditate...it works)
2. always remember who you belong to and that everything you are now belongs to someone else for their pleasure alone. IF you are lucky enough.... you will be rewarded generously. IF not, remember your place and who you serve.
3. always remember that you/we are a beautiful gift(s). Whether we are given the generosity by the ones who own us or if we are denied such bountiful pleasures, we will always be gracious and accept the choice that is bestowed upon us. we live to please.
4. Never take you Dom/Sir/Master for granted. In the long run, they know what w/e need before w/e do and they will never let us down.
If you are needing a friend, or a confidant, or if you just want someone to talk to, i am here and you may contact me. w/e are here for each other.
~Bella