Curiouser and Curiouser

Learning to be a sub. Submission comes naturally but trust does not. So I’m exploring and wanting to learn from those how know how - particularly experience female subs. Teach me, please!

What is it like to trust fully? For me, BDSM is about security and safety. A safe place where we can both live out our shared desires without judgement and with support. For me, it’s an emotional commitment as well. It’s not just in the bedroom. At first I wasn’t into TPE but I find that I need my freedom limited by a Dom who knows how to guide me.

My Dom makes me a better mother. He makes me more open which is a sign of something good. But after all the betrayal and abuse I have been through I struggle to trust fully. If anything is questionable I catastrophize and assume I’m being used or lied to. I need to unlearn that fear.

So does anyone have any thoughts on this? I’m tired of being told everything is a red flag. My desires are not vanilla so they will certainly appear as red flags to others.

Female subs… any tips or thoughts on how you developed complete and total faith in your Dom past or present?

Thank you in advance!

SageFlame(sub female) - To fully trust someone you must first develop trust in yourself. The catastrophizing and fearful thoughts will ease as you learn to trust yourself. This will carry over into the rest of your life experiences. One of the key factors for my own journey was to show myself compassion and patience. I like to dig in and push through things but that can't be applied to self-growth. Showing yourself kindness by being self-supportive with your thoughts and habits. Rerouting neuropathways takes repetition and redirection - this is a huge part of the healing process. What are your repeating thoughts?

You're not in a bad place or a wrong place but the perfect place to grow. The fact that you're aware of your issues means your miles farther than you might think. A dynamic Can foster and support your growth but the work is yours to do within yourself.

That all said fully trusting another person will not eradicate the fact that they will, at some point, make a mistake or hurt you. Not because they are mean but because they are human. These are the perfect moments to cultivate deeper understanding and compassion for each other. After all, the word dynamic means to be constant growth and development! Yay!

1 week ago

CuriousKind(sub female) - Thank you! That’s really encouraging. I never thought how my lack of self-trust would spill over. So many things have occurred to make me lose trust and it’s a muscle I have to build up again.

1 week ago

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CuriousKind​(sub female)

Curiouser and Curiouser

What is it like to trust?

CuriousKind(sub female)