Over the past year, I’ve spoken to so many people here. Maybe I even spoke to you. Some conversations were short, some lasted a little longer, and only a handful turned into something deeper. But every single exchange mattered. Even when things didn’t go anywhere, I walked away having learned something. About connection, about others, and about myself. This isn’t just a reflection on finding “the one,” but on how a year of reaching out, listening, and sometimes stumbling has shaped me.
A core principle I try to live up to, both in leadership and my personal life, is growth. Growth means learning, listening to myself, evaluating critically, and striving to improve. So what has this past year of seeking taught me?
1. Patience changes everything.
When I first started looking for a connection, I was probably expecting something to happen quickly. Each connection carried some self-imposed sense of urgency. Over time, I’ve learned that there is no reason to rush, and in fact, a very good reason not to. While I deeply miss having feminine presence in my life, I also acknowledge that I live a comfortable and stable life. I’ve had time to work on myself, my search, and what I’m looking for. Patience has shifted me from chasing outcomes to allowing space for the right connection to grow naturally… eventually.
2. Boundaries protect energy and honesty.
One of my biggest realizations is that time and energy are finite. More specifically; my attention. It’s thrilling to meet someone new, and I often want to throw myself fully into it, but I can’t give myself away endlessly. I’ve had to learn to prioritize promising connections while respectfully disengaging from those that can’t materialize. Sometimes it is the realization that our distance isn’t compatible, life circumstances, or simply lack of alignment. Boundaries also mean noticing when conversations move in directions, I don’t feel comfortable with. Being clear, honest, and respectful about those limits helps protect both my own energy.
3. Curiosity comes in waves.
There are times when I feel fully ready and open to meeting someone, and other times when life, work, or my own energy just isn’t there. That’s ok. Giving myself space to recharge means that when curiosity returns, I can show up fully as myself.
4. I can’t control responses, only how I show up.
Sometimes a woman reaches out with excitement, I reply, and then… silence. Early on, I would question myself endlessly. Was I too enthusiastic, too slow, too boring, too much, too little? I’ve since accepted that I can’t control how others respond, or whether they respond at all. What I can control is how I present myself: honestly, humbly, and openly. If I’ve shown up as my true self, I’ve done my part. The rest is out of my hands.
5. Respect must flow both ways.
Something I’ve become especially attuned to is how respect feels in conversations. I try to act graciously, giving people the benefit of my time and presence. I’ve learned that I value and expect the same in return. When someone treats the interaction casually or dismissively, it’s not just disappointing, it’s clarifying: it tells me we’re not aligned. Mutual respect isn’t a nice-to-have; it’s the foundation of any meaningful connection with me.
6. Disappointments are part of the process.
Over this year I’ve had fun and exciting connections, I’ve had intense highs, and I’ve felt deep disappointments… sometimes theirs, sometimes mine. I’ve made mistakes and failed to be my best self at times. But I’ve also learned resilience, and I’m proud that my intention has always been to show up authentically and respectfully, even when things didn’t work out.
After a year of putting myself out there, I can honestly say I’m still hopeful. Every new connection could be the one that sparks my forever relationship. Until then, I’ll keep showing up with patience, honesty, and grace, holding my boundaries, and learning from every step along the way.