Thank you so much to the friends that read and commented on my last post about my collaring. From the bottom of my heart I appreciate you! 😄
I've been thinking a lot about the collaring in general, the whole concept, and part of it, I want to share with you: the ceremony. Parts of it I want to keep for Him... The sanctity of what we are doing is monumental and I will respect that by keeping His things strictly for Him. Having said that, I am so grateful that I have His permission to share some parts with my friends and my community. Writing is my therapy. And I am an extrovert. I feel like it's a win/win.
Today Him and I were talking about sex... Not the penetration parts, necessarily, but the fun stuff that leads up to the sex... The 'foreplay', I suppose. I am beyond surreal status in my realizations that He is at or exceeding my level of... kinky... It's one of those things that can be hard to talk about sometimes (especially when you meet in vanilla settings) but my gosh... Realizing that everywhere I zig, He zags... Finding out that the things that have been asleep in the darkest and most defended parts of my mind are being lovingly, safely, and eagerly coaxed to the playing field and welcomed by Him is something that I can't accurately or completely convey... But I tell you, friends, it's fucking beautiful.
One of those things is a desire of mine to use sensory deprivation techniques and tools in play. I have long desired to be deprived of my ability to see and hear and to be played with in unexpected, sadistic, sexual and psychological ways. (Even talking about it right now gets me all hot and bothered, to be transparent.) One of the ways I conveyed to him I wanted to do this was with vision depriving contact lenses. I'm not yucking anyone else's yum but to me, the blindfold feels too "Fifty Shades", a hood feels like past experiences I don't want to relive, but contacts would allow Him to see my facial expressions, have access to my face and limit my ability to see -- this would mean the amount of trust I was placing in Him would skyrocket... And I fucking love that shit.
Being as I am getting ramped up for my collaring... It made me think of something symbolic and beautiful I would like to do for Him... I'm pretty sold on the idea myself already but I am interested in getting some opinions or thoughts... Not seeking approval, necessarily, but a genuine interest in my friends and community members' thoughts on this as an act of submission... So... Tell me what you think:
I want to use those vision-depriving contact lenses for the entirety of my collaring ceremony. I'll be led to Him by a trusted person and once there, I'll be knelt before Him and our officiant will speak to our witnesses and friends... But I think that being deprived of sight for this experience would be a symbolic (and, really, rather physical) way of showing Him and our peers that I trust Him... Enough that I would willingly take away my ability to see, relying entirely on Him for my safety, protection and well-being... I think there is a symbolic beauty in that act that moves me...
I know how I feel about it. But I'm curious if anyone else 'sees' (get it?!) my point.
Tell me your thoughts. For now, thank you for reading. 😄
Respectfully,
r