I am starting a new venture... sharing my thoughts to a public space. It is a very scary idea for me to put my thoughts out and be vulnerable but I know that if I want to grow I need to challenge myself. So in 2025 I am challenging myself to write and put it out into the ethos for anyone. I cant promise something amazing or grand but I will promise my best going into it. There will probably be some very eclectic things popping up but I am a mismatched quilt with every piece telling a story. So this is mine...
I remember I was 14 when I first found out what dominance in a man was. I was watching something i shouldn't have been. A soap opera if I remember correctly. The character was the silent but deadly type. He walked in the room and everyone waited for him to speak or move. His power was palpable but he didn't abuse it. He was soft only with a select few but he still created that feeling of respect. When he told someone to do something he expected for it to be obeyed. Unlike John Wayne in some of his movies, he didn't spank the girl when she was being a brat and disobeying, what even common sense knew was not a good idea. I remember thinking that this is what I want in a man someday.
As years passed and I got older I continued to look at media for portrayals of such men. I found them most often in books. Some romance novel or action novel that was found on a shelf laying around. I started looking for more books and eventually fell into dark romances. Here I found the men to be possessive and powerful, they knew what they wanted and didn't apologize for it. They didn't treat their women like glass but still protected them with passion and a rage that was primal. They knew their dark sides and reveled in the pleasure that pain could bring with the right circumstances.
When I finally stepped into my time for sexual encounters I found that I craved for that strong hand to lead me and guide me. However most men aren't like that a fact I knew but still had to face head on. I found the guy I had been hoping for since 14 and life was great but like everything there are highs and lows. Much of life is uncertain and the past cant be rewritten but everyday is a gift. The saying is I had to kiss a few frogs to find the prince, well its a good thing I never wanted the prince.
One thing I know is that my journey here was anything but smooth. I had plenty of times when I wanted to give up and call it quits. Maybe I would've been happy with boring vanilla, but I chose rocky road and cookies & cream for a reason and I was gonna be stubborn till I had them.
Wishing everyone a happy new year and a great day!!
-daisy