There is a pull.
I want to make sense of it.
Instead, I just feel crazy.
It doesn’t offer any polite requests.
Nor does it does it entertain logic.
It moves in me like a flame,
or like a tide that responds to the moon even when the sky is black.
He has never touched me,
yet his voice fills my spirit like the vibrations from the bass of a speaker.
And suddenly, I am the woman I envision my highest self to be-
soft, owned, powerful .
I often wonder if it is really love that I feel or lust or something more ancient than either.
However, what I am certain of, is that when I imagine being with him, in his energy,
the anxiety inside me calms.
There are many obstacles that stand between us, rules and borders and cold arithmetic,
but none of these can overpower desire.
This could be dangerous in more ways than one.
Maybe it is just lust or escapism.
Or maybe this is the connection of our dreams.
So I come back everyday, waiting to see.
Trusting and hoping for something true.
Feeling his energy move through me
like a promise my soul always knew.