The Thoughts of a Overthinker.

I find myself longing for an Owner. “Wanting” might not capture the depth of my feelings; I need, I crave, and I yearn. Each day, the longing intensifies with every step I take on this journey of exploration and self-discovery.

But is it truly possible to find someone like that on here?

I once believed I had found a connection that could lead to something profound, only to be ghosted after a whirlwind of intense months.
It’s a reminder that these experiences happen to us too guys.

Such encounters inevitably raise my guard. Can I truly open myself up to someone again? Do I dare to seek that remarkable connection, knowing the risks involved?

I want to take that leap…

The rose-tinted glasses I once wore have been firmly set aside.
While new experiences beckon, it often feels like searching for a needle in a haystack, daunting and frightening.

Is there something new on the horizon? Am I ready to open myself up once more, despite the uncertainty of what could unfold?

Why does it all have to be so difficult?

As I navigate these feelings, I remind myself that every journey has its challenges.
The desire for connection is a powerful force, though it may be fraught with risks, the potential for genuine connection makes it worth pursuing. I just have to find the courage to embrace the unknown and trust in what the future may hold.

Did you know

Hummingbirds can fly backwards…

Made me smile at least!

I stand out in a crowd, not just because of my striking 5’8” frame adorned with luscious curves and fiery red hair, but because of the vibrant personality that radiates from within.
My piercing blue eyes reflect a passionate spirit and an adventurous heart, embodying a woman on a quest to savor every moment life offers.

A few years ago, I experienced a transformative moment that jolted me into reevaluating my life. This pivotal experience compelled me to reflect on what truly brings me joy and fulfillment.

In rediscovering myself, I’ve come to realize my worth and the depths of my desires. 

I crave sand need something that allows me to embrace my submissive nature fully. I aspire to be a devoted sub/slave, but I seek a connection that nurtures my needs, both in and out of an intimate context.
My job, while rewarding, often brings stress and demands constant decision-making. In my personal life, I want to escape that pressure—to serve, to surrender, and to have someone take the reins, allowing me to relax and simply be. I am aware that I sometimes struggle to prioritize my own needs, a journey I’m actively working on, but the vision of being supported and understood is essential to me.

I want to clarify that I am not necessarily seeking a “lifestyle” in the conventional sense. Instead, I believe that when the right connection is found, it will flow naturally. Labels are insignificant compared to the profound bond that can exist when two people understand one another's desires and needs.

I recognize that it this is an intrinsic part of who I am. I am ready to explore this realm with someone who is knowledgeable, someone who can guide me, empower me, and hold the leash I was always meant to wear. Passion and intensity are what I crave. I need a partner who not only embraces my submissive side but also respects and attends to my emotional and physical needs. In this journey, I seek balance,a harmonious exchange of power that fulfills us both.

In essence, I am a woman ready to step into her truth, embracing the fullness of who I am and what I desire. Life is too short to hold back, and it is time for me to fully embrace the submissive I was born to be. I seek a connection that allows us to explore the depths of our desires together, crafting a shared experience that honors both of our needs and pleasures.

To be held. It's a simple phrase that carries profound weight. The longing to feel the warmth and safety of another's embrace is a deep-rooted human desire, one that transcends the boundaries of relationships and circumstances. Just the act of being held can evoke a whirlwind of emotions—comfort, love, vulnerability, and a sense of belonging.

In moments of solitude, I find that this is one of the things I miss the most, it's a deep ache, a yearning that lingers in the quiet corners of my heart. The absence of that physical connection can sometimes feel overwhelming, as if a piece of my spirit is adrift, searching for solace in the arms of another.

It doesn't matter who, what, where or when, what truly matters is the feeling of being enveloped in warmth and acceptance. The act of being held has an uncanny ability to ground me, to settle my racing thoughts, and to center my chaotic emotions. It serves as a reminder that I am not alone, that there is someone out there who understands and cares, even in my most vulnerable moments.

In a world that often feels chaotic and unpredictable, the simple act of being held can become a sanctuary, a safe space where my worries dissipate, and I can simply be myself. It’s a reminder of our shared humanity, a connection that reinforces our need for love and support. In those cherished moments of embrace, I find a sense of peace, a reaffirmation that i am worthy of affection and connection.

One of the key areas I’m focusing on right now is my self-confidence, which I must admit is quite low. Despite this, I take pride in owning who I am and embracing my individuality. I’ve come to realize that I don’t fit into the conventional “social norm,” and I doubt that I ever will.

It's important to acknowledge that we all have our own insecurities and hang-ups. In my case, I sometimes find that browsing TC can exacerbate those feelings, rather than alleviate them. It’s absolutely ridiculous that society often imposes unrealistic standards on us, making so many of us feel “not up to standard” in various aspects of our lives.

Even when someone offers a compliment, like telling me I look good, I can’t help but focus on my perceived flaws—the lumps, bumps, and imperfections that stand out to me. It’s a constant internal struggle, where my self-criticism often overshadows others’ positive perceptions.

I recognize that this is something I need to work on—cultivating a more positive self-image and learning to appreciate myself more fully. It's a journey, but I'm committed to embracing who I am, imperfections and all, and finding ways to boost my self-esteem along the way.

The yearning to be manhandled runs deep within me, a profound desire that transcends mere physicality.
It’s about the intoxicating sensation of being held tightly, of being moved and directed, surrendering completely to someone else's will. I crave that visceral connection, that primal dance of power and submission, where I can let go of all my inhibitions.

I long for a partner who can truly handle me, someone strong enough to navigate the complexities of my desires, yet tender enough to understand my boundaries, even if they are few.
I want to be used, to be an instrument of pleasure for someone who knows how to unlock the depths of my longing. Your pleasure becomes my singular focus, a guiding star in the landscape of our intimacy.

On my knees, I find myself begging you to take me in every way you desire, to explore the depths of my submission. I crave that blissful state of “brain off, cunt on”, where I can surrender my thoughts and lose myself in the pure sensation of being desired. I dream of waking up to the warmth of your body, feeling you buried deep inside me, the world outside fading away as we become lost in each other.

Yet, despite this profound longing, there remains a frustrating barrier between desire and fulfillment. Why is it so challenging to grasp what we yearn for? The complexities of life, the intricacies of human connection, and the fear of vulnerability all conspire to keep our deepest desires just out of reach. It’s a bittersweet dance, this interplay of longing and reality, and I find myself caught in the tension between what I crave and what is attainable.

A new week has dawned, and with it comes a sense of urgency—a desperate need to submit and find my center. It’s more than just a fleeting desire, it’s a deep-seated longing that few truly comprehend. This journey I’m on is reshaping my understanding of what it means to pursue fulfillment.

As I continue down this path, I find myself increasingly determined to chase after what I truly want. The dreams that once languished in the background are now taking center stage, demanding my attention and commitment. I’m awakening to the realization that those aspirations I once dismissed as mere fantasies are, in fact, within my reach. They are not just idle thoughts, they are the very essence of what I yearn for.

I find myself in a profound yearning for an Owner, a guiding presence in my life who can help me navigate the intricate layers of submission. But it’s not just about the desire to submit, it’s about establishing a deep, meaningful connection. I crave someone who can truly see me, who can recognize my needs and understand the complexities of my journey.

This connection is essential to my growth and transformation. I long for someone who can help me unlock the best version of myself, someone who can encourage and challenge me in ways that promote personal evolution. I recognize that achieving this state of being is not a simple or quick process, it requires patience, dedication, and effort from both parties involved.

I understand that building a meaningful relationship takes time, it’s a gradual unfolding of trust, communication, and mutual understanding. Both the Owner and I must invest in the relationship, navigating the delicate balance of power and vulnerability. It’s a path that demands commitment, and I am prepared to embrace that challenge.

Yet, despite this understanding, the urgency of my need feels overwhelming at times. The longing to submit, to be guided, and to connect deeply with someone who comprehends my desires can be consuming. It’s a powerful force that propels me forward, even as I recognize the necessity of patience and the gradual development of this bond.

I am ready to embark on this journey, to open myself up to the possibilities that lie ahead. I seek someone who can walk alongside me, someone who is willing to invest in this with the understanding that it is a process, a beautiful, intricate dance that will take time to perfect. Together, we can explore the depths of my submission and cultivate a connection that enriches both our lives.

Another dream on my list is to ride my motorcycle up to the breathtaking Highlands, exploring the landscapes that resonate with my soul. The idea of touring through those majestic mountains fills me with excitement and purpose. It’s a journey not just of distance, but of self-discovery.

Additionally, I’ve made a commitment to push through my fears and take part in a munch. The thought of stepping outside my comfort zone might seem daunting, but I refuse to let fear hold me back any longer.

It’s fascinating how, when you begin to live in alignment with your true self, other aspects of your life fall into place. I didn’t anticipate this harmonious synchronization, it’s like a ripple effect, where every courageous step I take leads to new opportunities and insights. The world around me is shifting, and I am learning to embrace it with open arms.

This week, I am ready to embrace my journey with vigor, to pursue my dreams, and to connect with others in meaningful ways. Each day is a chance to redefine who I am and what I want. I’m excited to see where this path will lead me.

I’m on a meaningful journey of self-discovery and understanding in the context of BDSM and my own desires.

So to bring up an important distinction that I grapple with, the difference between needing to be submissive and the deeper need to be owned or in a Total Power Exchange (TPE) relationship.
Each aspect can fulfill different emotional and psychological needs, and understanding my own motivations can help clarify.

Desire for Submission vs. Desire for Ownership.
Wanting to be submissive often relates to the enjoyment of yielding control, serving, and finding pleasure in that dynamic.
In contrast, the desire to be owned encompasses a deeper craving for connection, identity, and total immersion in that. It can involve a sense of belonging and purpose that goes beyond the act of submission itself.

Im recognizing that I need to be owned and to serve is a profound realization. I think it indicates a desire for a more encompassing relationship, where my identity and value are intertwined with being His property.

My journey of self-discovery will likely influence how I perceive and engage with these over time. As I learn more about myself, my experiences, and my desires, my mindset may shift, leading me to a deeper understanding of what fulfillment looks like for me.
I believe this evolution is natural and can be a rich part of my journey.

It’s important to acknowledge that wanting to serve and be owned can coexist with feelings of confusion or frustration, especially when circumstances change. And is something I am dealing with at the moment.

I feel understanding these distinctions will help me articulate my needs and desires more clearly.
I think it’s essential to explore what "gift my all" means to me, whether it’s emotional vulnerability, physical submission, or something else entirely.

Ultimately, my journey is unique, and it’s about finding what resonates with me and how I can communicate and negotiate those desires within my relationshp.

As I continue on my journey, I have to remember that it's okay to take my time, learn from every experience, and foster connections that helps my understanding of myself.
I am enjoying the process of discovering what it means to be the best version of myself.

What a question!

A good one for everyone to just have a think about.

I thought I knew who I was, who I wanted to be, needed to be.

But now I am on a profound journey of self-discovery, particularly within the realm of BDSM and my understanding of submission.
It’s completely natural to evolve in my thoughts and feelings as I gain more knowledge and experience.

The idea that there isn't a "one size fits all" approach in BDSM is crucial I’ve found, each person's experience is unique, and what works for one may not work for another.

I’m taking the time to explore what submission means to me personally, rather than relying solely on preconceived notions or external definitions which is what I have done, leading up to putting myself ‘out there’.
The deeper understanding will serve me well as I navigate my desires and boundaries.

As i continue to learn and grow, i will be exploring different aspects of my  identity and desires without feeling pressured to adhere to specific labels or dynamics. I want to embrace the fluidity of my journey.

it may lead me to insights about myself and relationships that I hadn’t anticipated.

I feel the exploration itself can be just as valuable as any destination i might think im aiming for.