In submission I find myself. My brain calms, the rapid firing of my chaotic thoughts come into focus. I listen more. I force my brain to listen to his voice and drown out everything else.
My mind doesn’t overwhelm me with a million conversations and I don’t fidget, I don’t open my mouth halfway through a through a conversation that was in my head.
In this I am forever thankful to my Dominant. His patience with me. His guidance and his bringing me back from my self deprecation and self sabotage. Sometimes it is a gentle reminder, sometimes it’s a stern and direct call out. But always to teach, always with my best interest at heart.
My journey to understand who I am as a submissive has been riddled with missteps, misunderstandings and heartbreak. But mostly I cherish the joy, growth, love, acceptance, learning and awakening.
I am ever evolving, ever improving. Learning to love myself and in that learning to trust my Dominant to enable my total submission to his control.