Lost

I’m up at two a.m.
A drug addict
Trying to resist the glamour
Of transient wolfish seductions.
I know where that
Easy fix is
There's a wide selection for
Short term satisfaction
And immaculate destruction
Yet
It’s not enough.
No, baby, not nearly enough.
Because temporary evaporates
Like a meal of steam.
When I want his fingers
Scrapped across my gyri
Dug deep into my sulci
Reshaping me, folding me new
Touching me so real
I hesitate to breathe without permission.
I want the ambrosia of his taste
soaked into my soul.
His will
Sunk so deep into my core
That it leaves a space
Carved just for him.
I’m sick with need for convergence
dragging my bare knees across the floor
Just to trigger memories
Of the electric power of his need
Bubbling in my blood.
I’ve become some pathetic half thing
A broken, unused toy
That can’t speak
With no one to push the buttons.
I don’t know what to do
Without his feet to rest my head
Without the prayer entwined with him
That brings me back from the dead.
And so I pace
I toss and turn
I hide from all the cheap consolation
That I could suck down my throat
In imitation.
I’m a drug addict.
Resisting Temptation.