I have often thought about what I find so appealing about BDSM as a submissive partner. I have to say that in real life I am not submissive at all, quite the opposite. No, I am not dominant either - I hope - but I am confident, assertive - if only because of the children and the dog - quick-witted, not easily impressed and I don't think I am easily fooled. Nevertheless, I find it extremely appealing and arousing to dress up in appropriate clothing for the game.
It does excite me when my husband or I put a collar on me. I like it when he grabs me tightly and pulls me towards him. A shiver of excitement runs down my spine when he ties me to the bed, mysteriously or dangerously hinting at what he intends to do with me. I know that he will never do anything to me that I don't want. We have agreed on a safety word or safety sign in case I cannot speak. He knows what I like and what I don't like, and he would never do anything I don't want to do.
So what's the kick? It can't be the danger, because it's not dangerous.
I think it's a paradox. It's phenotypically dangerous. I surrender myself and can no longer defend myself, can no longer physically escape the whole thing. The adrenaline rushes into my blood. He touches me hard, it hurts a little, but that's also what makes it so exciting. The excitement increases, endorphins are released. I bite my lip and get wet. But I'm not really afraid. It's something like excitement, a pleasant, exciting tension. Because of course I know that my husband loves me and won't rape me. He will play with me within the framework that we agreed and discussed. In fact, I know that nothing will happen that I don't want. I am safe, even if I cannot defend myself, I am tied up and he is much stronger than I am. He is the tiger, but he is my tiger. I have tamed him. It is my game with the tamed tiger.