Obedient Bunny

I have been thinking about my husband a lot lately. It's been 6 yrs since we "lost" him to cancer and I realize I am still angry. It's not like I misplaced him, I didn't "lose" him, something insidious took him from me and my family. It crept in while we were living our lives. It camped on our doorstep like an unwelcome guest. It hid in the shadows waiting to pounce. It was relentless and fearsome. It took and it took and it took until there was nothing left. It made sure we felt every blow, every strike, every ringing bell. It drove people away and brought people to us. It made me face my own mortality and wonder how my time will end. It took my hope and my faith and my joy and replaced it with grief and sorrow. I wish I could say that someday I'll manage to put all the pain away in a little box and store it high up on shelf but I'm not sure I ever will, however I will eventually find a way to remember without so much anger.