I've been debating how to go about this blog for a couple days now. Do I go down Petty Road and make my point slap someone in the face and laugh? That risks the point being masked by offensive delivery and angry reception. Or do I explain myself with less flare in hopes that it hits home deeply but calmly?
One of my personal core values is productive communication. I try very hard not to speak out of anger. I try not to say things would render the point or conversation unproductive. My personal belief is you can communicate absolutely anything effectively without anger and without personally attacking someone. So that's what I'm going to do.
This does not apply to everyone. And I realize everyone has the right to create, write, and/or post freely. I am not censoring anyone. I'm speaking of the the message received or the concept developed by the reader. I also realize a long term relationship isn't what everyone is searching for. Some people are just searching for strictly play partners and that's absolutely ok. I'm thinking of the people who are looking for a constant. A long term thing.
I read profiles that are all about how a dominant can master the mind of their Submissive. They say they can help them reach their true potential. I've seen blogs stating a good dominant can help a submissive better themselves and do things they thought they'd never be able to do. There are writings saying they want to and can help a Sub develop and grow personally.
A lot of things written by Submissives state their likes and dislikes. Some pull no punches and warn people who may just want to manipulate someone to play as soon as possible. The Hit It And Quit It types. Submissives show they're armed, independent, and invulnerable as a deterrent.
The thing is, dominants have potential, too. All the things they say they can make or help a Sub achieve, a Sub can help them achieve the same things. Partnership is always going to be two sided. It's symbiotic. Each person should gain something in exchange for whatever they're giving. Dominants can learn more about their personal capabilities from a Sub who trusts them with more than they've been trusted with before. They can learn how to be empathetic while taking emotional care of a Sub and letting their Sub take emotional care of them. A Sub can pull a Dominant out of a hole just the same. They can boost the Dominant's self confidence. Encourage them to go after the thing they're not sure they can achieve. Rejoice in victory. Empathize in defeat and ensure they know that nobody is defined by their victories and losses. A Dominant can be turned into a superhero by seeing themselves through their Sub's eyes. And a Sub can do the same.
Subs, you can reach your potential without a dominant. You can do anything you want to do. You can better yourself under your own power if you feel the need. A Dominant can do all of that on their own as well. You may find new goals or improvements that come to light through your relationship with your Dominant. And you may work on those together. Thing is, so may your Dominant. You can be great on your own but better together. So is your partner. Don't feel like the solution to your life is a Dominant who says they can fix you or make you better. Find a Dominant who makes you happy. Whom you connect with deeply. Who values you. And you, them. Find someone who views you as an equal and a partner. And you, them. Find someone you want to do life with. It should be a symbiotic relationship. Mutually beneficial. Whatever the benefits may be.
