First of all, I would like to thank everyone in The Cage community for being so welcoming. It's appreciated more than you know, and I quite enjoy the thoughtful messages and the distractions in chat.
Early on I was posed with a question. "What brought you into this lifestlye?"
It's an innocent enough question, and an interesting one. One that I would like to ask others if given the chance.
But here in lies my fault. When I was younger, I had a Tumblr. (*cringe*) I hate to think back on all the things I posted there, permanently on the internet. But one post in particular sticks out in my brain.
I remember it was around 3 in the morning, the witching hour for my brain, and I was thinking about all the fucked up things that got my gears going. I had already realized that I had fetishes that lied outside the vanilla realm, and up until that night I hadn't quite realized why.
As I was growing up, I experience many years of trauma and abuse, I am not saying this to get pity mind you, I'm trying to paint a picture that I can see in my head and feel in my heart.
But that night as I thought about it realized maybe that's whast brought me into this lifestyle? Maybe the years of being beaten down into a pulp made me crave the need to please? It kind of makes sense to me in my head. All those years of what I went through, making me want to submit, making me want to make others happy. I don't know, it's hard to place into words exactly what I'm trying to say. Hopefully this doesn't come off as jumbled rambling.
Just some thoughts I needed to get out of my head.
