I don't know how to begin this blog post so I'll hop right into it.
I'm kind of new to the lifestyle, not by much but still learning. I have had three dynamics and a few failed talking stages in the past six years.
What I've learned is that it's hard (for me) to find someone who can offer me what I need in a dynamic. I need someone who I can feel safe with, no pressure, caring, affectionate, a leader, a listener, a friend, but also at the end of the day my Dom. I love romance, I love affection, I like the cheesy stuff haha but a pattern I keep running into is when I meet a guy interested in "affection" as well they mean affection to their privates and any kind of affection I need (hugs, cuddling, etc.) is too much to ask.
Even when I communicate it clearly my needs as a submissive are never met or met for a day and then not again for weeks. It's discouraging. I know that I want to continue submitting but to who? I feel like a feral cat looking for my forever home LOL I cannot be tamed! Okay but all jokes aside I'm just so ... In a way I guess you could say that I'm a little lost.
My journey into submission is rough right now and it has me ready to turn tail and run but that's not who I am as a person or as a sub. Life (and the lifestyle) will have its many challenges and it's up to me to overcome and grow from it. Wish me luck...