Content Warning:
This post reflects real-life experiences and is not related to consensual BDSM, roleplay, or kink.
This entry contains childhood trauma, emotional abuse, and references to boundary violations. Reader discretion is advised.
This post includes emotional and vulnerable experiences.
The Day Noah Saw the Truth
I don’t remember most of the morning — just pieces.
But I remember it started as a normal day.
I wasn’t in trouble.
I was just being a kid for a moment.
Jordan had his friend Noah over to hang out for the day, and I was allowed to join them.
Thomas and Margaret knew.
They said everything was fine as long as I stayed out of trouble — so I did. I tried to.
We played video games, switching turns, laughing, and sharing controllers.
For a little while, I felt like a normal kid with normal friends. I was trying to breathe. Nothing bad will happen when Noah is around.
Eventually, we pulled out Risk. We played downstairs in the kitchen.I loved that game.
I always dreamed of beating Thomas one day. I always lost again to him. Even when I come close to beating him.
No matter how hard I tried, I always ended up with Australia as my base, slowly building my army upward.
We sat at the table — Noah on my left, Jordan on my right, me in the middle.
The boys attacked each other on the board, and I quietly built my forces.
Thomas came into the kitchen, chewing crushed ice the way he always did.
He leaned down and whispered in my ear, “Let the boys go at it and win the game.”
I whispered back, “That’s the plan.”
The boys were curious about what we were talking about, but it was a little secret to win the game. (I’ve always been competitive.)
And for the first time ever, I won.
After the game, we went upstairs.
Noah went to the bathroom.
I stayed outside of Jordan’s room because I was scared to go in alone.
I already knew what he would try to do.
I didn’t want to ruin their friendship.
But I also didn’t want to be alone with him.
I wanted to tell someone the truth. I wanted to be believed.
I was looking for hope. The light in the darkness.
When Noah came out, I didn’t know how to tell the truth.
I put my finger to my lips, signaling for him to stay quiet.
If I said it out loud, I knew I’d be called a liar — again.
So I tried the only way I could. 'I whispered to him,'
I told him, “I can’t tell you…but I need you to watch.”
He didn’t understand.
So I said it again, slowly, so he would hear the meaning behind it:
“I can’t put words in your mouth. Just see it.”
That was my way of reaching for help.
My way of saying: please save me.
I walked into Jordan’s room, leaving the door cracked on purpose so Noah could see.
Jordan was on his Xbox, setting up a game.
I asked him what he was doing — just talking, stalling, trying to stay safe.
He pulled me close and started crossing boundaries and touching me in ways that weren’t okay.
Then Jordan heard something and thought Noah got out of the bathroom.
But Noah wasn’t coming back.
He was going downstairs.
He was going to tell.
Jordan tried to stop him, but it was too late.
Noah told Thomas what he saw.
And nothing happened.
No protection for me.
No punishment for Jordan.
They told Noah to leave the house, and I never saw him again — even though he lived in the neighborhood. (saw him outside sometimes)
He lost a friend that day for trying to save me.
Jordan was depressed because Noah was never allowed to come over ever again.
I asked Jordan what happened, trying to see if Noah had really told, but he didn’t answer. I was searching for hope—wondering if he really believed me.
He just disappeared into his room.
And I had to face Thomas — calling me a liar, like always — while I stood there alone, defending myself in a house that never protected me.
But that didn’t stop me...
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(What the board game looks like)
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Dear Noah,
If I could speak to you now —
not as the scared girl I was,
but as the woman I’ve grown into —
I would finally say the words I never got to give you.
Thank you.