"Birds fly over the Rainbow,
WHY OH WHY can't I?"
You are all humming, singing, or casting curses on me because this song will be in your head most of the day- now we can begin. 😝
I don't know about you, but as I read through the blogs and talk with people, occasionally I find myself thinking, or even saying out loud :WHY OH WHY CAN'T I?
*Why can't I talk "dirty" as easily as others seem to?
....truthfully, I don't know. I get brain hiccups when I try. Oh that and my conservative upbringing too.
A couple weeks ago, I was sick. And a byproduct of that sickness was a beautiful rich deep voice. I teased that I could make some serious money and run a pay per minute service with my voice like that. I also teased though that I would have no clue what to say, and that I would actually be a sadist's best friend because they could torture people by having them call in and I would do what comes naturally - sing kids songs 🙈😂😂
*Why can't I have an insatiable desire for sex like others seem to?
....perhaps with the right partner? Even then....maybe it's a learned thing. Maybe it is getting past previous hurts and experiences...
*Why can't/don't I worship my Dom 24/7 (like others seem to...) Or at least want to worship his body 24/7?
...He is a great guy and all. I am quite fond of him. I even love him. And I DO think of him in one way or another most all day. I also think about my kiddo, and my work, and...and...and...
*Why can't I fathom the actions/positions I see in the blog stories?
...well, all bodies are different. I feel like my body composition-extremely extra fluffy, I would have to be a contortionist. Also means things I read, even with a partner, wouldn't work the same. Ha! Sometimes as I'm reading these blogs, I stop and literally try to figure out how these things are even possible . 🤔 Trust me, I know my body!
*I am not body shaming. In fact I believe my body is pretty incredible.*
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
Now, before you all start to think that I am about to crash and burn on the HOT MESS EXPRESS....breathe! Those thoughts and questions are not the problem, it's what I do with them. Honestly it is healthy to question things. If I were to dwell on them...thats where it gets sticky. Dwelling can lead down the rabbit hole wondering what is wrong with me. The answer is simple-NOTHING! I am not any less valuable as a person. I am not any less valuable as a submissive in this crazy, yet awesome and amazing, world of BDSM.
I have been told many times that my submission is special because I serve with my heart. 💖 THAT is not something that can be made up. Its not found over the 🌈, it is simply ME. It is who I am. Its my sparkly outlook on life. It's the way I genuinely care for people and want to be there for them through good and bad. It's the way I can turn anything into a song. 💖 and it is many many other things ☺🙈😏😂🤗💖😇🔥💅👡👗💄👣 (a lady has to have some secrets afterall)
*and equally as important-when you pair with someone, choose wisely. Wait for the one who understands when your brain freezes or hiccups. The one who gets to know you for YOU.
And, friends, I happen to know that I am not the only one who experiences this. I know that we may not be asking the same questions in our comparisons, we may not completely be on the same page, but it is the same idea . Comparing is rarely healthy. Not to mention that the blogs are what people WANT us to see, how they WANT to be perceived, and merely a highlight reel of a (much) bigger picture.
The treasure isn't found in some elusive and unattainable place in a fantasyland society over the Rainbow. Nope....it is YOU! Who you are. Your gifts, your challenges- no one always has ALL their stuff together, nor is their relationship always perfect!