Stop putting the cart before the horse! Seriously. It doesn't work that way, yet so many times it can be easy to get to work with nonsensical things that ultimately put the cart not only in front of the horse, but detach the horse and push the cart full speed ahead downhill to a startling crash! And then we look around and wonder what happened....uh duh!
I'm sure I am not the only one who has ever been the creator of my own demise like that. In fact I know I am not. Yet, it can be easy to fall into old habits that continually don't serve...anything but destruction and choas. We cause so much chaos for ourselves and in our relationships sometimes.
When your Dom tells you that he is sorry for something that bothered him and affected his mood....umm..... it wasn't about you. It was something that bothered him. Don't instantly assume "oh my gosh, is that it, are we over?" ummm...no. take a chill pill baby! He is allowed to have moods that shift, as are you. DOMS ARE HUMAN TOO!
When your Dom tells you that he needs some alone time, some space.....do you put the cart before the horse and assume poorly that it is about you? NO! You shouldn't. Truly! Communication is a beautiful thing that so easily gets clouded by our own baggage, thoughts, perceptions, misunderstandings and feelings. There is nothing negative about needing some alone time, some space. It is not necessarily a reflection of you-at all! Don't assume....don't wear that shit. It's not attractive!!! Perhaps he just needs some space to be a happier healthier person, the best version of him that he can be. And a happy healthy fancy pants Dom-type is good for all parties involved 😉 I know I need space to breathe sometimes, no matter how much i love people.
DOMS ARE HUMAN TOO!
Edited to add: Communication isn't always cookie cutter or easy. In fact, bringing two humans together can be a super frustrating and humbling, and gentle yet harsh, amazing experience. It takes work. it isn't just a momentary blink or a "I need space.." its more than that. See the comments below for a much more eloquently put description. :)
And honestly, take the D/S element out-Dom/Sub/Slave/Daddy/Master/hobo/clown/goofball-however you identify yourself.....relationships ebb and flow. we are all HUMAN! We all have moment and things that affect us, space we need to take. Leave the cart and the horse attached in the proper way, and don't try to fix something that might not need fixing. I'm not pretending by writing this that I have somehow arrived and have it all together. Ha! (some of my friends on here would tell you honestly I am an emotional whackadoodle somedays) Some days i run crazy with other emotional rabbit trails. Thats a part of being human too, but it is learning to deal with it. Also set yourself up with friends who will call you out on that stuff before you overwhelm your Dom with a trip on the Severe Insecurity Oh My Gosh express! :)
May your carts be pulled nicely and smoothly by the horse as you navigate your way through this crazy life! <3
