1 week ago. Tue 15 May 2018 04:55:20 AM IDT
I’ve always considered myself to be a bit of a brat. Honestly, I’ve always thought that was just part of this life, so it was a little shock to me when Sir said that he liked good girls. Huh? What’s that?? He also warned me that breaking rules will be punished (of course) but breaking rules on purpose would result in a severe punishment. *Gulp* That instantly took away some of my brattiness, but not completely. So far, I have not acted like a brat on purpose. I have thought about it, but have not done it. Then came today, and I learned something interesting…
My desire to be a brat is becoming less and less. Today was one of those days where I really wanted Sirs attention. You know those days, right? It started this morning with my daily tasks and it grew from there. I sat through a 3 hour meeting where I should have been paying attention (sorry professor!) trying to think of bratty things that I could do to get what I wanted. (Topping from the bottom, much? Eesh!) After I had devised my plan, my mind kept going back and forth as to whether I should really carry it through or not.
*No wait. Severe punishment…
*It could be fun, though!
*He’s busy today. That wouldn’t be fair to him…
You get it. Back and forth.
One of my tasks is to write out in a short text my honest feelings for the day, no matter what they are. They could be something sad because, life, or be something happy, because, life. Today they were telling Sir how I was feeling about wanting to feel his dominance. How much I felt like I needed him today, but how I also understood that he was busy and that I would be patient. Once I typed that out and sent it, the brat level went down again as I realized that I truly want to please this man!
Now here’s the wonderful… After he read that message, he made time during his busy day for me. Sir gave me what he wanted to give me and I lapped it up. Sir gave me what I was needing and Sir knew just what I needed. Even things that I didn't know that I needed! How special is that?!? I entered a level of subspace that was relaxing and sweet. A space where I couldn’t imagine being a brat. A space where I realized that being a brat would be disrespectful, and I would hate to disappoint him.
I’m thankful for everything that he puts into this, and it is a lot. He’s patient and kind, rough and warm, verbal in both aggressiveness and sweetness, and he doesn’t give and damn about my wants and does all at the same time.