I swish around in my tub, the water ribbons of purple bath bomb. Just hot enough to not actually be hellish lava water, but just barely.
The shuffled music playlist hitting all the feels tonight.
Boiling my body in what one hopes is a magical fix all purple potion…when in reality it’s just plain well water…just purple swirling…not the answer to anything…
But my grown woman self decided tonight she wouldn’t stress and miss and wish desperately and cry…tonight she will pretend to be a magical mermaid in a bubbling purple potion…tomorrow she can search for the fix. The thing that will take the fear away. Heal the pain. Make her better. Make her whole. Let her have the sweet and committed and trustworthy and loyal and loving D/s relationship and dynamic she had dreamed of for years…which landed her in deeper pain and surged full of extra fear…she deserves not to walk on eggshells.
she deserves a strong, loving, dominant Daddy to love her and care for her and guide her.
Tomorrow she can be the sad fearful lost little girl. Tonight she gets to be a mermaid…