Something which I think is often forgotten in the passion of porn-inspired D/s fantasies is that an ongoing long term D/s dynamic is a two-sided process.
I don't see it as one person barking orders and the other passively obeying. That might work for a play scene, but it's not a relationship, or at least not my idea of one. To me, an authority transfer relationship is two people working TOGETHER to acheive the dynamic they both want.
And when I say working together - I mean working HARD. I do think that D/s dynamics can be incredibly rewarding due to their customised nature, but on the flip side, the customation means that there's no standard "manual", no decades of societal norms to follow. While these days there IS a wealth of online educational content on D/s dynamics in general, the hard part is figuring out which parts work for a particular combination of people.
How does one do that? Firstly, I'd suggest that "one" doesn't do it - it's a _joint_ responsibility, which starts with simple honest communication. I see lots of group posts about things like "Should I punish my sub?" or "How should a train my sub?" To which my first thought is... why not just ask them, rather than random internet strangers? They're a person just like you, and they (I assume) want the dynamic to suceeed just as much as you do.
I generally avoid stating my opinions as fact, but I'll make an exception here: asking questions is not "un-domly". Different people respond better to different methods, and surely the most straightforward way to determine an appropriate method is to discuss it. Talk about what works, what doesn't work, and what _might_ work and is worth trying. Nothing is preventing changing track if it doesn't work.
And to be clear here, I haven't suddenly started talking about an egalitarian vanilla relationship. I don't see any of the above as negating a D/s dynamic. The D-type is still making the decisions, they're just getting all the information they need first in order to make an _informed_ decision.
The reason that the above might _sound_ quite vanilla is that in many ways, I see D/s dynamics just like any relationship. Both people learning how the other works, understanding how best to engage and support each other. Just in a more formalised, intentional manner, with prior agreement about which person has the authority.