1 year ago. October 21, 2023 at 2:25 PM
It was a total shit day. It has been a shit show kind of week. Everything that I have touched today has turned to chaos and ruin. I am exhausted and still everywhere I turn, I am pulled and needed. I am stretched too thinly and holes are appearing. Long work hours and little sleep, on top of home and family duties. I am brittle and close to breaking.
I lash out at You when I see you. I rage and rant. You stand firmly planted, facing me and weather my storm. I am itching for a fight, a place to put all of my frustration and anger into. I get no response from You, other than the stoic look on Your face. Then You simply turn and walk away.
I feel so alone and upset with myself for being so prickly and unlovable. I hear You coming back down the hall and as I start to speak, You silence me. You take my hand and lead me back to our bedroom. “Kneel” is the only word that You utter. I obey. I watch You prepare our bedroom and bathroom by lighting candles and turning on soft music and turning down our bed.
You stand in front of me when all of this is done and hold out Your hands for me. Your hands strip me of my day. Your hands wipe away my tears. Your hands wash my hair and body in our shower. Your hands gently dry all of me. Your hands put me to bed. Your hands hold me and caress me. Your hands make me feel loved and cherished.