I have tried to be patient while I wait for Him to decide that He is ready to play with my toys. I have been especially sweet and obedient. I have asked nicely only to be told “we’ll see”. I have left the toy box at the foot of the bed hoping every evening that He will give me that wicked smile that always sends shivers down my spine and lets me know that there will be fun to come. Patience in not one of my virtues. To be honest, I don’t have many virtues, and patience is at the top of the list of the ones that I don’t have.
As I walk into the bedroom to take my evening shower, I see the box has been moved. It now sits on my side of the bed. There is a note attached to the lid. “Pick one” it says. One! Only one! How does He expect me to pick just one? Each toy gives me such pleasure in different ways and I LOVE all of them. The sting of the paddle and the bite of the clamps ease my cravings for pain along with pleasure. The wand gives shivers throughout my body as it sends me crashing over the edge. The plugs fill my every hollow need. The dildo hits that sweet spot every time. The cuffs and rope hold and caress me like a lover.
I open the lid and longingly touch every one of my beloved toys. I know that He is giving me what I want, but doing it in His own way. Making me choose is His way of showing me that He controls my pleasure and that I am His. The thoughts of His expertise in teasing my body into total submission makes me wet. I giggle when I touch the little pocket wand. Part of me wants to pick it to see His reaction and to see just how creative He can be with it, but I know that if I am too much of a smartass it could backfire on me. I have till bedtime to decide, so I will finish my nightly routine and think about my choice.
Sometimes choices can be rough.
