Today is my anniversary of being introduced into the D/s world. 13 years ago I was dating a very nice gentleman that had a very high profile career. He was confident, charismatic, and definitely what I would consider to be dominant in his every day life. I had just ended a practically sexless married and was enjoying myself immensely.
He was romantic and intoxicating. He would light candles and have soft music. The foreplay was incredible. However the longer we were together, something started to feel off, like we weren't on the same wavelength any more. When I finally got up the courage to ask if he didn't find me attractive any more, he apologized for making me feel that way and opened up to me what the problem was.
He began to tell me that he was a submissive and enjoyed being spanked and humiliated during sex. I was shocked! How could this powerful and influential man want these things? He then asked if I felt that I could do these things for him. I asked for some time to think about it all and he said that we had all the time in the world.
The night was set and I went to his house dressed for the part that I was to play. I had on a black silk bustier, stockings, and a red lace thong. I had no real idea what I was going to do and I figured that I could wing it. I mean really, how hard could it be to spank a guy and say mean things? It was much tougher than I thought!
After our normal foreplay I laid down on the bed and told him to take my thong off using his teeth. I then told him to strip in front of me and put my panties on. His eyes lit up and I could see that he found this new play a turn on. I propped up on my elbows and watched this strong, dominant man follow my every command. I laughed as he stood before me wearing nothing but my panties and the embarrassment on his face.
I laughed because I was nervous and at a complete loss as to what to do next, not because I was trying to be humiliating to him. Things went downhill from there. I had mean words and sentences pop into my head as we continued playing, but none of them would come out of my mouth! I was embarrassed to say them and afraid to make him angry or hurt his feelings. This was all so foreign to me and I was bombing badly.
The night didn't end the way either of us wanted. At the height of my attempt of dominance and humiliation, "red isn't your color" was the worst I could utter. Even the crop felt wrong in my hands. I couldn’t keep the feeling of being a phony out of my head. I think I was more embarrassed than he was.
It wasn't the best way to introduce kink into my life, but it did make me start researching into this D/s lifestyle. I have the utmost respect for Dominants and the work they put into scenes and the way they handle the care and nurturing of submissives. The more I read, the more I want. I want to be the one to get the spankings and the tasks. I want to feel submissive to someone and to feel deliciously used.
And I can't put on red panties without giggling about my time as a Domme.
