Submission is yielding to the authority of another person. We, as submissives, thrive from giving over control to our Dominant. My heart races when I am given a task. I am exhilarated when I am praised for being pleasing. However, when I am tasked to take time for myself, or do something for just me, or to say no to an obligation that I really shouldn’t take on, I feel a bit defensive at times. Doesn’t my Dominant know that I don’t have time for that? Surely He understands that I can’t just say no to anyone asking anything of me.
Submission isn't just for the kinky parts of BDSM. There are other parts that our Dominants demand control over that are far more difficult to let go of at times. Allowing our Dominant to pamper or spoil us is so very hard. Giving over the daily worry and letting Them guide us in our daily lives makes Them happy. Why would something so small seem to be so big of a deal for us to let go of?
It can feel as if we are being too indulgent to stop and take that moment for ourselves. We get so caught up in dealing with our everyday lives….work, school, home, kids (fur baby and or the two legged kind). Sometimes it feels as if there aren’t enough hours in the day to get it all done. Our Dominants see that we are spreading ourselves too thin and needing rest. They want to keep us from burning out and becoming physically unhealthy. This is one of the ways that our Dominants show care for us, not just to irritate us. They have an outside view and can see the whole picture as we are so focused and in the thick of it.
It can be downright terrifying to be that vulnerable by allowing our Dominant to be that in tune with our emotional side. It is scary to let our Dominant into our inner workings and get used to Them helping us with everything. What happens if They leave or decide that They don’t want to help any more? What if we are too complicated to deal with, or we aren’t worth all of this work? We don’t see that this is the very part of us that the Dominant needs from us. It pleases our Dominant to be able to care for us in every way and to feel needed by us.
Trusting our Dominant with these parts of our submission may seem insignificant, but it allows them to know us as no one else does. It can bring you closer and make communication better. Dominants need to be needed. Submissives need to be wanted. Allowing our Dominant to do his job well by guiding our physical, emotional, and kinky sides lets us do our job well in pleasing our Dominant in every way that we can.
