I never knew

Chaos.. The kind i chose, the one i finally learned to dance inside of.

And oddly enough thats where my beauty began to grow. 

At some point i stopped needing the world to be beautiful in order to see beauty in it. 

I stopped chasing "my" perfect and made myself feel free.

free of worry.

free of guilt. 

I surrendered to the chaos not out of weakness, but to find peace within it.

Beacause letting go was never the end of me but instead where i began 

I thought books and pages was the way it should all be, like black and white and only in my head. 

I was completely wrong, this is a whole new world, and i already feel addicted.