Just reflecting on how we started and how much I’ve grown.
—————
He Didn’t Want to Fix Me — He Just Stayed
(High School Us as Friends)
I was used to people wanting something from me.
A performance.
A reaction.
A version of myself that made them feel better.
Whether it was goofiness, perfection, strength, or silence—someone always needed me to be something for them.
So I learned how to shape-shift.
How to brace.
How to read the room and protect myself before anyone had the chance to reject what was real.
Even when I dated other guys, it felt like I was wearing armor.
I showed just enough softness to keep the peace—but never enough to be fully seen.
Because being seen felt dangerous.
It was easier to stay guarded than to risk needing someone who couldn’t carry the weight of me.
But Wyman didn’t do that.
He didn’t try to fix me or figure me out.
He didn’t chase me with expectations or pressure.
He just… showed up.
And that?
That quiet consistency?
It disarmed me in a way I didn’t expect.
I kept waiting for the catch.
For the moment, he’d stop listening.
For him to ask more than I could give.
But he never did.
He never asked me to shrink.
Never asked me to prove myself.
Instead, he made space for me.
Real space.
Not the kind that feels like distance, but the kind that feels like a breath when you didn’t know you were holding your lungs tight.
He asked questions gently, not to pry—but to know.
He laughed at the right moments.
He let silence be safe.
And when I was spinning or tired or guarded, he didn’t push—he stayed.
That alone felt like a new language I was learning for the first time.
He was calm, I didn’t know how to trust at first… but I wanted to.
Because somewhere in those quiet conversations,
I stopped feeling like I had to perform.
I stopped trying to be the “strong one” all the time.
I didn’t have to carry the weight of everyone else’s expectations.
With Wyman, I was just me.
Not the “trauma girl.”
Not the “caretaker.”
Not the “fighter.”
Just… me.
And for someone who spent most of her life proving she deserved to exist,
Being loved without having to fight for it was the most sacred surprise of all.