The first time I found out about BDSM was the first time I had read Fifty Shades of Grey. Ive always been a book reader. Staying up all night or hiding in a locked bathroom in my childhood home just to be able to read. When I read it, I thought it was romantic because I was only 12 at the time. Through my high school years, I discovered smut, a genre of reading that is very "spicy" and ive noticed that everytime I read a smut book, I find myself almost in tears because of how nice it would be to find someone like the main characters in those stories.
I could be being delusional or just simply romanticizing things that probably aren't realistic. It would be so nice for someone to speak to me in a way that makes me feel calm and safe, while also being firm and leading me in the right direction.
I am very emotionally chaotic so having someone to know me well enough to redirect the thoughts in my mind is something ill always want, and it's something the female book characters get. Either way, I made my way onto this platform as a way to express myself and a certain part of myself that hasn't been explored just yet :)
6 hours ago. Wednesday, June 24, 2026 at 8:14 AM