19 hours ago. January 25, 2025 at 3:11 AM
it rings true
it rings true
Decided to join up as a paid member. Little bit of a price jump from 2018 when I paid $5 a month. But I want to connect more in a completely platonic way with other members. To discuss various topics and able to message as needed. Also I wanted to be able to share photos in my blog and profile. They will not be “tit” pics so all keep it in your pants. lol. I’m kidding. For me it’s about showing very little, just enough. The beauty of my body for me.
As I sit here in my corner office looking out into the cold dark night. I glance to my weather system and NOAA reports and see the temp is -8. BUT, BUT. with windchill it’s sitting at a balmy -29! That’s right -29 degrees F! The F stands for FUCK!
Before I headed into work I made sure to be prepared. My heavy parka and golves and an extra pair of thermals to wear over my pants. Blanked in vehicle and gear for the dog. She even has a neck gator to protect her ears.
I turned the heat up a notch and let the faucets drip and opened the sink cabinets. When this weather hits I realize how much weather proofing I need to do on a little 100 yr old farm house.
so all who are in cold regions, stay warm, be prepared and drink plenty of fluids.
sitting here at work. Pulling up some of the hits I’d listen to years ago. Almost forgot about this one.
The weekend is closing . I was so glad to have the weekend off, as it was cold and windy. It’s no fun to see a negative number displaying the current temperature.
I pulled into my driveway Saturday morning returning home from my shift. The sky was a hazy grey and light snow danced across the hood. It was cold! Made a mad dash into the house, just to drop my stuff (I swear I carry so much stuff for work) and then to take the dog out.
once back inside we got cozy. Comfy clothes and fuzzy socks, and a hot, hot cup of coffee. Curled up on the couch with a few books and highlighters in hand and Sirius XM set to a classical music channel.
I was all snuggled in for two days of no people, no phone calls, and silence. I read, and the dog chewed her bone. Only getting up to get more coffee and the times to run the dog out . I did the normal things to keep the house tidy: dishes, laundry, things put away. I’ve come to love and crave a clean and tidy home, working on my minimalist lifestyle.
I relaxed and planned my work week, meal prepped. Wrote a couple newspaper articles. Laid out my work clothes. Worked on other house/office projects. Had 5 candles burning and read so much, napped here and there and did some personal exploring.
soon the majority will be getting up to start their day as I will be rounding out mine with a good workout, shower and crawl into bed, and drift off soundly.
Therapy-Yay or Nay?
Do you think that when a couple starts a relationship, they should attend couples therapy? i firmly believe it should be a requirement of the relationship, and then be utilized as needed. It doesn't mean you are crazy, weak, or whatever you might think. It would help so much in the communication department; one side can be saying the same thing over and over, and the other side hears it but isn't catching on or is completely struggling with what is being said. So, that leads to tension between the two, causing doubt.
There is a book I am currently reading titled Come Let Us Reason by Norman L. Geisler, and there is a passage that I have underlined, circled, and noted. It is an excerpt from Alice in Wonderland and a conversation with The Mad Hatter and March Hare-
"Then you should say what you mean," the March Hare went on. "I do : Alice hastily replied; "at least- as least I mean what I say- that's the same thing, you know."
"Not the same thing a bit!" said the Hatter "Why, you might as well say that 'I see what I eat' is the same thing as 'I eat what I see'
"You might just as well say" added the March Hare "that 'I like what I get' is the same thing as 'I get what I like!"
"You might just as well say" added the Dormouse. "That 'I breathe when I sleep' is the same thing as 'I sleep when I breathe'!"
"It is the same thing with you" said the Hatter
Confusing isn't it? Looks like a run around in the conversation of one trying to say the same thing. Many people have this conversation with their partner, which can lead to such a conflict. They may have a wonderful ability to have a productive conversation in so many areas of their life, but there might be one area of major importance that is a struggle, and both are trying to speak, but it is heard differently; it's not that the other is disregarding what the other says, or the importance of what is wanted, not at all. When I say, "i am struggling" or "i am not understanding," it does not mean i don't hear what is said or don't want to do what is said. Then more words fly and are told 'you really don't want to do this, otherwise you would just do it, it's not that hard or complicated' So the above book passage rang true to me.
i never thought i would be a person who would attend therapy. But in 2019 it became a reality. i was in a lot of pain from unresolved issues that i didn't know that i had. i thought i lived a happy healthy life, but Bishop pointed out that it wasn't what it seemed. So off to therapy, i went; Bishop said it was a requirement to attend therapy and do the work.
Therapy went very well, and my eyes were truly opened to the mental abuse i grew up with, which showed me how i acted in relationships, and Codependency- something i never knew of, what it was, or what it did.. So i attended sessions religiously, and got to a point where it became i didn't need it as much, and continued to work on my own, Then came along another set back, and i headed back in for weekly sessions, putting everything out on the table. I made a lot of discoveries and ways to navigate and i shared the highlights. Now i attend monthly, and can add more sessions as needed.
Therapy can and does help so much, and the stigma needs to be broken and thrown away. It helps beyond measure. Attend your sessions, encourage your partner, and attend couples sessions. Don't let each other down. If you want a happy, healthy, strong, kinky relationship, why wouldn't you participate for yourself and the "Greater Good"?
So as of late i have been in deep though, and reflections of myself and where i belong and stand in this world. There are so many thoughts and ideas that i want to share and talk about. But i do not want to word vomit all over the page and have no sense of direction with my ideas. i have been struggling for a long time and have neglected the one who owns my being, miscommunication being the biggest downfall.
i have been thinking of topics i would like to cover in my blog or in the forums. here are some of the topics i have been working on, mind you it is just a list and i have not begun writing on them so it is in the early stages. how will i ever learn and understand if i never learn and ask questions, as they say knowledge is power.
What Are Needs and Likes and Do They -vs- Each Other.
Where Do You Fail?
Taught or Told, How Should It Be?
No Expectations: Hurt or Help the relationship?
How To Be? Embracing Your Submission, So That It Doesn't Take Away From Your Dom
The Dance-Who Takes The Lead
How Does A Relationship Start: Is It A Good Idea To Start As A Couple and Explore Together ?
From Vanilla to Cookies and Cream: Starting As A Couple and Building The Dynamic Together?
Therapy- Yay or Nay (individual and as a couple)
Do You Do Things That Make You Feel Submissive, But Is Seen as Selfish and Not What Your Dom Sees as Submissive To Him?
This is just an idea list i have going and will begin writing on soon, as i learn more about myself and where i failed.
For the longest time I’ve had body image issues. Fluctuating the scale. Even had/have an eating disorder. Always the girl with pretty face.
i was drawn to weights at a young age. Got a gift subscription to Muscle and Fitness magazine in jr high by an avid lifter and family friend. He knew i was a power house at a young age. i lifted in High school, the power was amazing. There was just something about picking up the cold solid weights, the clanging of plates on the bar. i could build killer legs with ease.
Time went on and babies were had and i tried to keep up, but life got in the way. I would go on and off with fitness. Then i got the itch again in 2015, committed to Body Beast and got strong, the 19inch calves were back!
i soon slipped off the weight bench, slacked around again, but the love was always there. I met Bishop and he to enjoyed weights also. He always encouraged me to get back into it.
then October of 2024 something kicked back in. i started lifting at home. Bishop got me kettlebells and other item and pushed me back into Body Beast. i slowly began lifting, barely making it 15 min. Then i had a medical issue where my BP skyrocketed, once again my fire began to flicker out.
But i didn’t let it die, i started walking daily at work first a half mile then up to 3 miles a night. At home i set up my area with the new weight Bishop got me in December. i added in Pilates and cardio. i have been consistent now for over 3 months. Each day i lift and stretch. i feel powerful again. i have long way to go before i am where i want to be, by May i hope to have hit a major goal when i turn 50!
it’s a slow and steady process and age plays into it also. But it’s something i need to and want to do.i want to be strong and powerful enough to tackle the world.
Right now I’m in ghost mode to the rest of the world, no one outside of this site knows I’ve been working out, or losing weight, no one. i talk to no one, i wear big comfy winter clothes everywhere i go. No one needs to know. This is my discipline to be a better me and understand my submissive nature. So i share with you all.
just me myself and I, spent the night at the console, with 80’s country in the background. Alabama is probably the first band that I really listened to as young one. His voice and the story they told through song.