Name' sake

Got caught in the rain in my new jeans - now my legs are blue!  Wtf!??

Have been ;

An abandoned father

An undesirable son

A trusted brother

A gas station attendant 

A heavy equipment operator 

A construction worker

A sole proprietor 

A waiter

A coward

A warrior

A dragstrip finalist

Lost 

Hurt

Severely sad

Suicidal 

Awakened

A lover

A bastard

Abused

Confused

Lonely

Drunk

Addicted

Furious

Beat up

An aggressor

A great step dad

A master

A slave

A musician  (drums, flute, guitar)

A plastic shop worker

A moto cross racer

A sojourner 

A poet

An architect 

A builder

A destroyer

A glass blowers apprentice 

A recording engineer

A cabinet maker

A ranch hand/cowboy

A pet owner

A chef

A fool

A disappointment 

A blessing

A favorite 

A black sheep

A dream

A nightmare

A clerk 

A dishwasher

A truck driver

A football player

A cheater

A victim

A dreamer

A lost soul

If you knew, to whomever you were talking to - that this was your last day on earth - what would you say to them?

*edit

A pervert

Curse or blessing?

Crown or crux?

To be 'adorned' with what I have referred to most of my life as, 'a curse' -  not only a very high sex drive, but a kinky one at that. Insatiable really. Not sure if one constitutes the other, or not. I dont know.

I have been asked "when did you first know you were a Dom?" To which I would reply "I was born this way"

My first 'wet dream' at 13 years old was a woman tied to a wooden 'X' outside at night. She was topless - probably because I had seen topless women in national geographics magazines. At the time, I didnt even know what a woman looked like below the waist. (Very sheltered, lol). I was never exposed to anything like this, so my mind fabricated it.

Now, as an adult, later in life -  my drive has deminished exactly 0%.  

Edging myself to the point of insanity as of late.

Where am I going with this? Who the fuck knows. 

I can be a gentleman, of course - respectful in all regards. I can be patient, loving, caring, and compassionate  - but do take care, oh precious one, which doors you choose to open!

I blamed my kink for the demise of many of my previous relationships. ("A curse"). I felt guilt - severe guilt, for my desires. Even more so when she would give in to please me - let me play a bit. I felt like a monster. How could I want to tie up and beat someone I loved? What is wrong with me??  As hard as I would try, the desires always came back - its ugly head would rise up to destroy what could have been. Resentment builds - blame - distance . . . discord . . . End.

Ive studied psychology alot - for various reasons, but I had to try and understand.

There were pathways grooved deep into my psyche,  at the perfect impressionable age (Freud) and modalities that became ingrained into who I am (Jung) I could not stop my desires, not matter how hard I tried (Pavlov, lol).

I joined Fet way back - cant even remember how far back, but I knew kink was in me before John ever launched that site.

It was . . . .🤔 . . . clicky? 

It just seemed like I might as well be reading a magazine with pictures. I never really connected with anyone. 

I am (or was) a member of every site out there. (Keep in mind, my 'disfunction' started long before internet was a thing).

Fast forward to a few years ago, (spring 2017), I discovered this place - it was slow going at first - but eventually,  I found like minded people  - real people. I learned that maybe im not so fucked up after all. I have a deeper understanding of the workings and whys of this lifestyle. 

I have learned alot. 

What I do in the bedroom (with a consenting adult) does not define who I am. It is part of who I am.  It is my belief that people in this lifestyle search for 'more' - deeper, more intense - a realm outside the day to day mundane - to define, or re-define roles as sexual human beings. This is the case for me, at least. The church and/or state have no right to determine what I am or am not allowed to do - or should do - with my sex life. (Ok, thats going into soapbox - I digress)

Anyway - to those who love me, and even to those who hate me - my peeps.

A big, heartfelt thank you!  😚🤗👍⚘🍻

My hands tremble for lost recompense, my head aches with swirling memories and regret. Crumbled castles and bridges burned. Wrongs I cannot amend - lies that can never be untold. Crosses I carry, burdens I bear - with a silenced tongue.

Indecision - which path, which course of invairiable demise shall I choose this time?.

Roll the dice . . . 

I suppose in some regards, these are the welts I obtain pleasure from leaving. "You are helpless now, arent you? My plaything". 

Is it compassion in this, that I feel the settled score?  

Is it love, that she lays at my feet? Willing to obsolve all transgressions? 

Or am I the one??

(Sobriety's overrated)

Just more word barf - happy Monday my peeps. 🖐☺

Africa on my floor

A curtain for a door

Alien in my being

Stapled to my own ceiling

I can be drunk

Like a glass of water

I can be sober

Like a plane crash

I can cry

Like a Symphony 

I can laugh

Like a landslide

I can stumble and fall

Like a chance turned regret

I can dance the waltz

Like a funeral procession

It used to be colder

In the coming years

I could have been

Afraid of fears

But ive changed my outlook - inwardly

Ive become one with change

As simplicity 

I can see beauty

Or a splinter in the I

I will taste this world with an ache

And choose to be

Fully alive

A friend turned me on to these girls. 😊

This  is a tale of true love, tragedy,  adventure, and mystery. 

By Jack P. (in the) Box Esq.

*All rights reserved

Chapter 1 

Introduction. 

There once was a man from Peru

Who fell asleep in a canoe 

While dreaming of Venus

He played with his penis

And woke with a hand full

Of goo.

Scene

Copyright December 12, 2021

Editor's notes.

"It was a pleasure working with Jack on this particular piece. I know he struggled for many years trying to get all the subtle nuances just right. I think this is one of his best works - congratulations ole boy!"

(I did not write this)

"Is she here?" I asked the bottle

"Maybe, look again"

"Is she here?" I asked the pills

"No, sorry buddy - best be movin along"

"Is she here?" I asked St Peter

"Time rests its hand upon all of mankind, my son"

"Is she here?" I asked the mountain 

"She was"

"Is she here?" I asked the river bend

"Ask the stones"

"Is she here? . . . Is she here?? . . . Is she?! . .  "

"Is she here?" I asked the clock

"Tick tock"

"Is she here?" I asked the highway 

"Follow me!"