Name' sake

You're like a cold

Toilet seat to me,

A second time stubbed toe -

An un-solicited colonoscopy, 

Or mold on my dough.

Oh how ive hated you!

Cant stand to look,

Id rather eat a slimy worm,

Even on a hook.

You think you have a right

To be here - 

But im telling you,

You dont!

Of me you need to steer clear,

Cuz holding back I wont!

Im telling you now

This morning, 

I wont repeat myself - 

This is your very last warning

GET OFF MY SHELF!!

Sincerely, 

Arachnophobe

"Slap my ass!" . . . My rhythm stalled . . .panting . . . She clenched my hair . . . "slap my ass!"  . . . gritting into my neck . . .

I gave her ass a hard slap . . . "Harder!" . . . 

Rhythm returned . . . faster  . . . We drove into each other  . . . "Do it again!" . . . "Harder! . . .harder! . . . Spank me Daddy!! . . .oh god! . . ." 

Spit and sweat . . . . Hot flesh and cum . . . We drove into each other . . . . Her claws bit into my back . . . pounding . . . . . .

I spiraled out of control - I think we both did.

I beat her . . . I fucked her . . . I claimed her as my own . . . .our bodies locked into the force or creation as we exploded simultaneously. 

. . . . . 

"Can I call you?"

"You better"  she grinned, leaning in and handing me her number.

~ fin

. . . . Screamed the leaves.

"No smoking in here honey . . ."  "Oh . . . Sorry"

"Can we go somewhere?"  "Where would you like to go?" I asked, over-casually . . . I was needing a cigarette myself. . . "I dont care . . ."

lust
/ləst/
Learn to pronounce
 
noun
very strong sexual desire.
"he knew that his lust for her had returned"
 
Similar:
sexual desire
sexual appetite
sexual longing
. . . 
verb
have a very strong sexual desire for someone.
"he really lusted after me in those days"
Similar:
desire 
be consumed with desire for
find sexually attractive
find sexy
 . . . . 

Assuming, she stood and started putting her coat on . . . "He" . . . "What?"  She stopped mid-sleeve. "You mentioned 'he' was supposed to be there . .  "  "oh. . . My stupid brother"  . . . 

"Its been a pleasure Ms Brenda, thank you"

I placed my cup and a ten on the counter - Katie was already impatiently waiting outside.  "You be careful honey" she warned . . . "Of course" . . .  

The night was . . .

. . . 

The night was . . . 

??

. . .

The streets were asleep . . . The streetlights kept a careful watch over the stillness. Nothing would get by them. . . Except the shadows.

"Do you wanna fuck?"  . . . "Excuse me!?"  I choked . . . "Do . . .you . . . Want . . .to . . . Fuck?"  -  caught off guard . . . I pulled the car over . . .straight faced, she repeated herself.

". . . I mean . . .I dont even . . . " "Why is it 'ok' if a man says that to a woman?' She interupted my stammering. "Im horny . . . You seem like a nice guy . . . You wanna fuck?"

"Ok, yeah - sure"  I tossed back with sarcasm "lets fuck!". . . Katie is it? . . . Where would you like to do this fucking Katie? "

Familiar arousal is one thing - spontaneous abandon is an entirely different beast. 

We wrestled against the bastard steering wheel . . .  cursed the confines . . . We tore and fumbled . . . needed .  . . .

sweet, sweet release . . . 

(Continued . . . . ?)

If you dont want to sleep?

"Just half, thank you"  I stopped her with a quick gesture - breaking my concentration at the leaves playing on the sidewalk in the cold night air. "When does the kitchen open?" Not till 5:30 sweety, but I can make you up some toast or something if you'd like . . . couple doughnuts?" She half pointed towards the  counter "Nah" .. ."ok honey, let me know" . . . 

The battle with-in is a curious thing. Human beings are the only creatures on the planet that suffer their own existence. 

"You aint from around here, are you? You in some kinda trouble or something? "  I gave her my best 'familiar with this' smile  - just passin through " . . ." where ya headed?"  "I dont know . . . Wanna come with me?" She laughed "got room for my husband and 2 kids?" I chuckled at her 'used to shit from strangers'  response. 

Silence of the leaves . . . . 

The old bells jingled harshly as she barged in - breaking the mood of the dragging lonely night . . .  "can I use your phone!?" . . .  "Please? " . . .  "payphone sweety" Brenda pointed towards the back. "I dont . . . Can I . . . ."  She shot a look at me, back at Brenda . . . 

"Here" . . . I tossed some change on the table.

Its not fair to judge a book by its cover, but we all do it - dont we?  Why was my first thought "hooker"?  I suppose it is a survival instinct thing - engrained in our dna.

She was an attractive girl - late 30s maybe. Not really dressed like your stereotypical 'lady of the evening'.  I heard the phone slam . . . And then silence . . . .

"Thank you" -  tears welling up in her eyes - she tossed the remaining change on my table

"Sit down, i'll buy you a coffee"  . . .I nodded at Brenda.  

". . . .and he said he'd be there  . . . .he promised me! . . ."  

I was half listening, half guaging who I was dealing with. was she a hooker?  Player looking for an easy score?

" . . .whats that?" . . . "I said whats your name? "Oh, sorry . . . Jack"  "Its nice to meet you Jack, im Katie . . . . Why do men suck?"

"I think we were programmed that way, but im not entirely sure".  She gave a slight grin and slipped out of her coat

"Thank you, do you have any sweet-n-low?"  Brenda pulled a couple packets from her apron. "Thank you".

To be continued  . . . 

(If someone wants to continue this story, please feel free)

Of the sexual variety. 

Some can relate more than others.

I see subjects and topics and tears and tears (those really should be spelled differently - to cry or to rip something in two)

As ive stated before, I analyze things alot.

Human behavior mostly.

How much of what we do is simply trying to release sexual tension? How much is a longing for our missing hearts desire? Could they be one in the same?

Single people that play alone, or people that play with someone because they have no one else, people that arent able to play, etc, etc. 

Rope play, sensation play, pain . . . 

I have always had a rather high sex drive - and most, if not all the 'experts' I have followed on self help say sex is a basic human need. (Enter . . . 'tension').

Its been awhile . . . 

Do you find relief after you have played alone? - or with someone that isnt your mate?

Or does it just leave you wanting?

Maybe if I do that harder? Or try adding this?

Or or or or . . . . 

I long for love, as we all do ~

 But as the months turn into years  . . .

"Oh the things I would do to her! . . . or her . . . . or her . . . . or them"

The birthplace of primal.

Or do we just ignore the dirty thoughts?

"Hush you!"

#woke up with wood

Many people have times and memories of childhood "blocked".

I have stated before, I analyze everything,  over-analyze. 

This is one of them . . .

You were in a really bad car accident  - almost died. Why didnt your mind block that??  You almost died for fuck sake! Not only did your mind not block that, it played it out for you in slow motion!

?

So then, it stands to reason,  the mind will protect itself by "blocking" only certain types of hurt. . . 

Emotions

But only certain emotions . . . 

Mommy did that to me and I cringe (formally a blocked memory). My Domme (when/if I had one lol)  does that to me . . . And I cum!  

What the fuck!?    ?

Right?

But I feel a sense of guilt afterwards. I would feel a sense of shame if anyone knew. . . But why? (Is this the essence of sub-drop?). 

I wont go into gory details - like many, I had a fucked up childhood too. I spent most of my life trying to understand the "whys" of things - the workings of the human mind - disfunction,  ect, etc, etc. Why, when someone is abused, they carry disfunction/s around with them for part of their life, or all of thier life. Guilt, shame, addiction, anger, etc. But the same person is quick to tell the story of that horrific car accident without any of these - Assuming,  of course, they were the victim of said accident, and not the cause . . . 

". . .and not the cause"   ?

. . . . . 

. . . . . 

I said to someone recently "you are not what was done to you!" 

There is a singularity obtainable in the duality of man (humans). Conscious /subconscious  - light/shadow  yin/yang.

"Do not feel guilt or shame for indulging in your desires - It is the subconscious mind that drives our desires - the conscious mind complicates them" .

The trick, the secret - what ever you want to call it - is to embrace yourself, your heart and mind, your desires - they are you. Learn to listen to what your subconscious is trying to achieve. 

*This subject could go very deep and lengthy, and I am by no stretch of the imagination an expert on any of it - just my experiences and research  - and opinion.

As always, safe and consentual.  ?

Open for discussion  . . . .