Complete Randomness

Some of my closest friends here know that I'm "the sensitive one." It's something I used to be ashamed of. However, now I embrace it. I have a good heart, I have good intentions, and I wish no harm to anyone. I love hard and forgive quickly. It ends with many brokenhearted moments, but I never regret them. I cherish each one.

Sometimes I get caught up in the world and mistake acquaintances and enemies for friends. I let people get too close to me. I let my guard down because I foolishly believe no one means to do me any harm. I can hardly tell my friends from my foes. So I love them all for every deep cut they stab into me, allowing mistrust and deception to be the mainstream of how I'm treated. On the flip side, it also causes me to question those with even the best of intentions. They might actually be a friend. Yet I'll distance them for fear that their friendship isn't true or that there's some hidden agenda. For me, lately, they both feel and look the same.

If you've read this far, I'm uncertain if you're an enemy, a friend, or an acquaintance. Whichever you are, thank you for being here. You are helping me, become me! 🤗

Hey all! I've been run down terribly by allergies since last Saturday. They just won't let up. I live near the great lakes so our weather has been tossed back and forth between the 30s and 60s. I think that may be the issue? No clue, I'm not well versed medically. 🤷

Anyhoo, I've tried so many different kinds of medicine, nothing seems to be working. Does anyone out there have any suggestions of things to try? If so, please comment. 🤒😷

All up in my feelings tonight 

I've never shared a video in a blog before. Not certain I'm doing it correctly. I have nothing to share, just exploring how this blogging stuff works haha

ooh trying colors too!

^{what's this do? Oh that's kinda} cool

_neat so much _to ^learn

So to post a video I think the linked chains? 🤔

Anyhoo, attempt #1 if it fails, please message me and teach me how 🤩

Sub frenzy. Ooh I remember having it bad! I was like a kid in a candy store! I jumped on here, I didn't trust other submissives. I thought they were the enemy. I figured we were all competing against each other. I set out to prove that I didn't need them telling me what to do. I was grown and can make my own decisions. Blahzay Blahzay Blahzay 🙄 I was so naive!!😂 I even think at one point I was collared the same day someone first said hi to me 😆 (I can laugh at that now lol)

Fast forward to a year later and I'm calmer now 😁Thanks to a few special friends, one in particular who continues to mentor me, taught me to see my self worth and has helped me through the sub frenzy. Couldn't have done it without her! 🌹 The subs who I thought wanted the worst for me, have shown me sweet friendship. I just needed to give them a chance. Even one in particular that I have a love/hate friendship with, I'd still protect her in the worst of circumstances 😜😉

Venturing through this BDSM journey is fun, tricky, and can sometimes be overwhelming. I've made many mistakes. I've ruined friendships. I've made bad decisions. I'm certain I'm not the only one though. But I'm learning through it all and I know I'll keep growing through it. ❣️

I wanted to post some links to a few blogs from this site that I've read. They cover the topics of sub frenzy, toxic relationships, and how to spot a predator Dom. But I can't find them. 😖 If you have written one or know of a good resource, please let me know. :)

Special thanks and hugs to all of you who continue to be here for me 🌹💋

~Ame

I've been on site for almost a year. One of my biggest lessons have been how to deal with the drama that stems from personality clashes. My submissive friends are great for backing me up and offering to help deal with other people. However, some of my best advice has come from the Dom's I've become close to. I want to share that advice with you. It helped me handle the drama from my end, not the other person, which has helped me become a better person.

The first Dom who had helped was someone I was submitting to at the time. He told me a story of a lioness in the jungle. She was minding her own when a tiny mouse began to pester her. Tapping at her tail, running around her, trying to get attention. He asked me, do you really think the queen of the jungle would let a tiny rodent disturb her peace? No! She'd ignore it until it went away as the mouse would be a waste of time and effort for the lioness. He reminded me that I was his lioness. And the one trying to pester me wasn't worth my time. He told me to hold my head up high and only give my attention to those who deserved it. What a wonderful lesson to remember! Now, I focus on only those who brighten my day. 🌟

However, I slipped up and argued with another submissive. I have a very sweet and caring Dom friend that I told, in hopes he'd take my side and validate my feelings. Silly me! 😂 Instead he asked "Ame, are you a piggy?" 😮 Umm, no! I replied. Then he said "then get out of the mud" 🐽 that made me realize I had once again allowed myself to be lowered into the drama muck. It's easy to blame others and get angry at others. It's much more difficult to look at your own actions, and control your own behavior. I mean, we're adults after all. We should find a way to care, forgive, or simply ignore. I've made many mistakes. Thankfully, I've been learning from each of them to become a better person. My goal is to stay out of the muck. I'll apologize when I do wrong. I'm not perfect, it'll happen often I'm sure. I'll dismiss those who have evil intentions and try to not let them get to me.

Just remind me to stand up when you catch me rolling in the mud again. 😉

Some rocks get their gorgeous characteristics through the wrath of nature's destruction. Some of the world's most stunning diamonds and gemstones get their perfection through the harshest of conditions. With each new experience, no matter how hurtful, it shapes me into a new person. And I can only hope, a better person. Someday, I'll be the gem someone is looking for.

**Fingers crossed, eyes closed tight, wishing hard**

Maybe someday 🤞😉

I thought I had the walk steady and perfected. Until I stumbled. I'm trying to walk the line between needs vs. wants. I'm not certain I can tell the difference any longer. The line is so blurred. My wants have become cravings that my body and mind need. My needs are starving to the point that I want them greedily. As the two tussle for dominance, I'm being given neither one. The empty space created when attention and affection cannot be found is filled with negativity. After so much time of not having positive interactions reciprocated, I become drawn to the dark nothingness that has filled the void of what used to bring me security and happiness. A smile, the warm feeling of a good morning text, the sensation of flesh to flesh contact, hearing his voice *swoon*, the high after an amazing session, those are all replaced by something that promises to be constant. Permanent. Everlasting. Even though the Dark Void isn't something I've ever reached for, it's the only presence that's reaching for me. I allow the Dark Void to envelope me into it's arms, hold me captive, and never release me. For here I am loved, needed, and desired.

Okay, that was my last shark song meme, I promise! 🤣