Or it should be right? The happiest time of the year.
For some reason I cannot get into the joy like I normally do. It seems tedious. Setting up the tree, the lights in Nov like we do every yr. Having the elf return last night. I miss the magic and the joy.
I had a friend message me asking me if I was excited for Christmas this year. I had to admit I am not. He's knows about my little side. He asked if that part of me was excited. He knows it's my favorite holiday. I had to say no.
Instead I'm just sad. Last year was the 1st time in 7 yrs someone other then my mom had gotten me anything. This year, I'm alone again. I never realized how much it effects me for the holiday season.
Don't mind me. I'm just venting. I'll be okay, because I always am. I have to be. I'll continue to smile for my kids and laugh with them. I'll continue to act like this is the best time of the year. I just wish I still believed it.
Be kind.
