Growth is hard. Personal development is often uncomfortable and exhausting. Becoming a better version of myself, and healing from past traumas and hurts, requires constant vigilance and self-reflection. Some days I get frustrated because I see how often I could have done better, while other days make me smile because I see how far I've come over the years, especially this past year. I've had to analyze myself so much out of necessity that I've become painfully aware of my shortcomings and weaknesses. Facing my fears has become a natural part of life for me. And it SUCKS most of the time. Most people don't really like having to face their demons and closet skeletons, after all.
But it's ok. It's good, even. This is life; this is how we grow and change for the better. The important thing is that we are constantly trying to become the best possible versions of ourselves, and to find better ways of handling what life throws at us. I would rather be painfully aware of my weak areas, but also be confident in my ability to slowly remedy them, than to pretend I'm perfect and never make progress in improving myself.
I used to fear traumas and hurtful people. I still do, but now what I fear most is not growing.
Growing is what helps me survive and find happiness again.
Growing is what makes me more capable of handling scary traumas and hurtful people.
Growing is what takes my past traumas and fears and helps to turn them into compassion for others instead of hatred.
Personal growth is the biggest, badass life weapon I've got, and I don't ever want to put it down. It becomes rather addictive after a while; it kinda feels like a superpower. : P
I've heard it said that the only person we should want to be better than is the person we were yesterday. I couldn't agree more.
I hope that 2017 is a year of unprecedented personal growth for all of us. May we all become better, happier versions of ourselves this coming year. : )