I am the embodiment of self discipline and grace. I shall go to the gym and immediately find the perfect workout routine that gives me amazing results with minimal effort. I'll sweat just enough to look sexy and motivated to the other gym attendees. I shall buy cute workout clothes, which will magically enhance my workout experience. I'll stop eating junk food and keep to my calorie count like a fitness pro!
Movement Two: The Workout.I am personified grace! I am invincible! This machine is so great! I can do all the things! Oh that cute guy just looked my way. Better amp up the speed on this skiing machine that obviously makes me look sexy. Who wants to use 10 lb free weights when the 20 lb weights make me look so much tougher?
(A few minutes later)
Man, that's a lot of sweat on my face right now. Am I breathing really loud? I can't tell through my headphones. I hope I don't look or sound like an asphyxiating walrus. That would be really embarrassing. I think these weights are too heavy.
(A few more minutes)
My legs and arms are like jelly. Surely I must have worked off enough calories to have a six pack by tomorrow, right? Right?
Movement Three: A While Later.I AM DYING WHY DO I DO THIS. SEXY ABS ARE NOT WORTH THE AGONY OF POST WORKOUT SORENESS.
I will make it feel better by eating pizza and cookies.
Movement Four: A few months later (if I last that long):Hmm. I have muscles and I really like how my body looks. And I feel better now that I'm eating better and being more active. I guess it was worth it.
But I still hate the gym.