I had an interesting exchange over lunch recently with a acquaintance whose just becoming aware of kink.
"But what about when she's in control?" The question came as no surprise.
Still I played coy, "Whatever do you mean?"
"Well..." My questioner bit her lip, "What if she's on top, wouldn't she be in control then?"
"Nope." I leaned forward with a soft chuckle, "Unless I want her to be."
The tinge of red in her cheeks grew as she said, "But she's on top, you can't make her do anything."
"Of course you can." I answer with a impish grin, "You just have to exert influence over their movements. A thick collar, tight enough the sturdy material is just beginning to chafe. Cold steel links brushing against burning skin before being yanked away, the chain drawn taught. Pulling her inexorably, irresistibly down, impaling her further. Only for my hand to flash up. Calloused skin imposing itself on soft, supple flesh. Driving her back up to the limit of the slack the chain provides. Every movement carefully controlled, the pace carefully decided."
She agreed that was a good point.