Enlightenment

It should go without saying that trust is paramount in this lifestyle. But don’t be naive... so is common sense and self preservation. You have GOT to be your own advocate. You have got to take responsibility for your own safety and actions. Sure they sounded like they knew what they were doing... of course they sounded sincere when the said “I’ll never show those pictures to someone else without your permission”. But, before you send them that picture or video, or account info... ask yourself this... if you decide you have made a mistake a week, a month, a year from now... are you willing to bet your life that this person won’t use that info to force you to stay with them and be compliant to their desires even to the point of forcing you to step past your hard limits or causing you physical harm? Yeah, it’s incredible when you find that person you want to submit to, but it’s a nightmare when you discover it’s a huge mistake and they have access to your financial accounts, emails, family members, work, church, etc. You have GOT to take your time. You have got to get to know that person better than you have known anyone and even then you could still find yourself in this situation.

If you are in this situation or something similar, there are ways out. Change your account Info, contact the police, talk to your family members and put the best spin on it you can... it’s not going to be easy. There’s no guarantee that this person isn’t going to follow through on the threat. But this situation will only get worse and worse. My personal advice is to stop it as soon as possible to mitigate the damage. The longer you allow it the more there will be to threaten you with. Talk to your subbie friends (if you’ve been allowed to keep them) if not... reach out to them again and explain the situation to them, most will understand and help however they can. Get as much support as you can and do what you have to do before it’s gone so far you feel like there’s no way out. There’s ALWAYS a way out.

PappaBear

Climbing to Amazing heights means risking amazing falls. Those wondrous places we seek to find carry hot knives, both on the journey and at the destination when we slip. Tread carefully your path. Sometimes you think it is those around you who have let you down. Sometimes it is. Sometimes it is ourselves who allow us the luxury and folly of fleshing out the hidden parts we don’t see. It’s a delusion based on what we want most in another person, which has nothing to do with them. But do you recognize it before it turns to ash in your mouth? Open your eyes not just your heart and mind. The heart longs for something, the mind may imagine it so... the eyes will see it as it is. If it is not established fact then do not believe your lying mind. Don’t read into words what is not there. Dig deeper! Better to risk upsetting the person they are than to allow yourself the pain of falling in love with what you wish they were. The person they are is usually not so terrible that you couldn’t love them anyway if the qualities you seek are truly present. If they are so picky then you don’t need to be with them in the first play do you? The right Dom or sub for you is the one who accepts the true you, right? So, make sure you are accepting the true them.

It’s only fair and honest, so remember that as well.

PappaBear

Your cage is clean.

Your bowl is full.

Your restraints are secure.

Your bond is strong.

Your collar is deserved.

Your purpose is clear.

You Sir is fair.

Your reward is near.

Your punishment is too.

Your only concern... obey.

Ever sit down to write with so much in your head it keeps coming out drivel? Yeah, me either. I did not just sit here for 2 hours writing and deleting, cause I can’t get the thoughts in my head straight. You know, where you think in quick flashes of the image and outcome you seek and grasp for but is replaced by the next image so fast you can’t give it words. You can try to seize control of it and beat it out in a straight line or into some semblance of normalized rational thought. But it’s too wild and fragmented for that. Wild... yeah, that’s what it is. It’s the primal side of your being trying to respond to something it does not want to comprehend or gestate or else communicate to you what you’re feeling. A bitter pill that you have to chew on. You can raise your mind to meet it but that thing inside you tears it apart as if it were threatening its very existence. You jump up four the billionth time and pace trying desperately not to destroy everything you come into contact with as it takes hold of you. You use the strength of that beast within to restrain it, knowing it could turn on you in an instant. The truth is... we want to dance with the devil by the pale moon light. Not because we really want too...  but because we’ve been told we’re not supposed too. It’s the forbidden thing that keeps us reaching into those thorns. Sometimes we get caught up in a whirlwind of a suggestion. We let that suggestion build itself into an idea that seems to hold all the answers to our salvation. It is distorted thinking leading us down the wrong path. Not the wrong path as “they” see it, but the wrong path for us. But, we’ve convinced the beast inside, because we are so much more clever that it is, that this path is laden with fruits ripe for the picking. We tell ourselves “yes, that’s what I want”, before we’ve slowed down to examine the stone upon which we are about to step. Tread carefully here, for the rabbit hole holds wonders yes, but terrible retribution to those who enter it blindly. Remember that image you’ve conjured? Pull back the screen upon which you play that little cinematic gem. You’ll see the truth behind it. The carefully constructed lies, the self serving quagmire masquerading as the truth which exists of your own creation and serves only to draw you in until it is too late.

Act not in haste, but out of careful consideration and deliberation.

You know... sometimes we look at a picture and continue to see the same image day after day. You pass that image how many times a day and it’s the same thing... it becomes so mundane to you, you just tune it out and keep walking right on by. One day you bump it accidentally and turn to straighten it. That’s when you see it... that thing you never noticed in the image you have come to take for granted. It’s suddenly new and exciting again all because of that new unnoticed bit that changes the entire meaning for you and shows you something you never imagined.

That’s what’s happened to me recently. See for the longest time I thought there was something wrong with me... you can’t feel those feelings for this person AND that person at the same time! Or at least, that’s what my Vanilla upbringing trained my eye to see and believe. So, I never thought I was experiencing REAL love. Then, I knocked the picture of what love is to me off the wall... suddenly the answer was so clear. It’s not that I don’t feel true love and bonding on a deep emotional level. It’s that I am able to bond with more than one person on that level. My feelings towards some people reach that deep even while I am able to feel the same depth of emotional connection to/ with another or even others.

Say WHAT???!!!

Yeah! That’s right. I’m poly who the hell saw that coming? I can see several reasons for not having seen this before now, but I guess the most obvious reason is... I was still trying to hold on to that Vanilla mindset. Instead of really looking at it, I just kept walking right past the picture, having already made up my mind what that image held. 

So so now I’m looking a bit closer at things... I always thought I was pretty open, but how can I  claim that, if I’ve stopped examining who and what I am? Once you stop examining yourself and challenging yourself and your own beliefs and expectations, you stagnate... you get in a rut. A rut that started as an innocent track a long time ago, but through years of conformity you’ve deepened those ruts, and widened them,and dug them so deep you’ve almost buried your wheels up to the axle.

So... go ahead, walk through the house in your mind... knock some of your pictures ajar... hell knock em off the wall, see if those old ideas really are a fair representation of who and what you are. But be prepared for what you may find... 

Hear the words... feel the chill. A frozen bolt strikes. Catch your breath. Like a brick. Try to breathe. Try to think. Don’t overreact. Is this real. Did your really hear that? Confirmation. The ice flow spreads. It chokes the airway. Rain hits your shoulders and spreads the chill deeper. You’ve been here before. You’re no stranger to this. Now the gut clenches and the breath hits me hard as my vision becomes blurred... why can’t I see? Oh yeah, I remember those things, they’ll reach the brink in a moment and overflow their banks any second now. Look away. Don’t let her see... don’t make her feel worse. But what about me? The ice pushes across my the chest, frozen fire. Breathing hurts again. If I could just get her voice out of my head... that smile. That mind that invaded my own. Now the cold drives into my extremities... It’s not going to stop. I know its’ intent. I know on what it feeds. It crushes against all hope spearing each cell, cutting through me like blades of liquid nitrogen burning as they freeze their target and everything in their path until only a numb pain is left sublimating in their wake. Leaving me... utterly...frozen!

Great!!!

...why?

Cause you think it's an easy way to meet chicks and get laid, because submissive women are door mats who have low self esteem, moraly questionable ethics, who can't wait for you to walk in all god's gift to women and command them to shut up, kneel down, call you, "Sir", and be thankful to suck your dick, while you beat the shit out of them, all while wondering what time the game starts, because they deserve it???

Yeah?

Congratulations!!!

...you're the "F"ing problem...

But let me get off my insomnia fuled soap box for a minute...

This isn't the normal RANT. It's an offer. Because subs aren't the only ones who need "training".

If you are a new Dom or looking to learn what it takes to be a Dom. Please, drop me a line. I'll be glad to help you (you won't be the first or last, so tuck your ego). But lesson one, you have to earn this help and my trust. Just like you have to earn a sub and his/her trust. You do so with honest open communication. I'm not giving my knowledge out so another asshole can leverage it to help him "be the problem".

Now, if you think you can open yourself up and be vulnerable to a sub...you might, MIGHT have what it takes to be a Dom after all.

My fist squeezes tight

My fist squeezes tighter

My fist is your delight

It sets your soul on fire

Feel its' power on your throat

Feel its' fingers in your hair.

Feel it's power full wide open,

as it takes your virtue from down there.

Feel that fist now open wide.

Feel the power in its' palm.

Feel the sting against your skin,

like a poet writing psalms.

See it tying up your flesh now.

See it picking up the whip?

Know now, it's time for silence,

as it let's the leather rip.

Feel that angry fist now...

with all it's anger drained.

As it applies the healing salves

and washes clean the stain.

Your ordeal isn't over.

The fist knows this too.

It's pasion now turned soft,

as it seeks to comfort you.

It holds you tight, its' mate,

Its' yin to yang proclaimed.

Its' love clear but unspoken.

Its' gifts clearly framed.

It keeps you safe, behind it.

more than prisoner, more than guest

For you have given yourself to my fist.

and for this, you will be blessed.

Do you remember your first time?

Man I sure do!

I was 25 and she 22.

Not talking vanilla,

I'm talkin' the power.

My knots we half assed,

and that shit took me an hour.

Yeah we wanted to try it

We didn't know what we had

It was so taboo...

but it didn't feel bad.

As she lay there all naked,

helpless, and tied.

something in my mind opened up,

and it opened up wide.

This feeling I got,

from the look on her face,

I wanted to share it,

with the whole human race.

As we made love it spread

and this was a fact.

None of the home boys I knew

sold THIS kind of crack!

After she climaxed,

she began to shudder.

I didn't know at the time,

but I had just melted butter.

Scared the hell outta me!

I thought I had broker her!

Didn't know what to do,

So, I started to stroke her.

My touch seemed to calm

and relieve her convulsions.

I couldn't help wonder,

what were these orgasmic emotions.

So I climbed next to her,

and I wrapped us up tight.

And just held her there,

for the rest of the night.

And as I think back,

on this 20 plus years

and remember a lot of joy,

heaertache, and tears.

Theres one thing that's certain,

something that I'll guarantee.

It's better to have loved,

than to have always been "free".

Some people might think being a Dom mean's you always have the last word. Let's think about that for a second.

If you think telling her what to do is having the last word, I would argue you've missed something very important... Crucial even. Let's look at a scene, not for the scene, but for the pay off. No, not the orgasm, something much more profound. Something deeper than any orgasm and ultimately more fulfilling. I say, "Spread your legs." she says, "Yes, sir." .....did YOU see it. Maybe... but probably not. How about this...? You've just finished a fun scene... she says, "Thank you Master!" Did you hear it that time? Not sure? OK last chance... She's failed at something... it was TINY, it was nothing. You might even want to overlook it. But she looks at you with tears in her eyes and says, "I'm sorry Daddy."

She wasn't saying, "Yes, sir." She was saying, "I trust you and I give myself to you."

She didn't say, "Thank you Master!" She said, "I love you! I am yours."

She didn't mean, "I'm sorry Daddy." She meant, "I am yours and I NEED to please you. Please, help me be better. I will do better, I promise"

So the next time you give a command, order, task, etc. wait. Wait and see if you truly had the "last word". For if you did... you might want to ask yourself if your giving the correct first words.

Just rememebr, anyone can have the last word. Anyone can say the last word. You have to learn to hear the last word.