4 years ago. Wednesday, November 3, 2021 at 1:23 AM
It is an ironic and cruel joke that as we figure out who we are, as we find our people, as we become more secure in ourselves and them, we also become closer to death.
I am a submissive, and sometimes it feels like time will run out before I know fully what that means.
So much of what we are is about hope and drive, even if what we are hoping for and driving towards never happens.
The point is the journey, not the destination.
So every second a call to action. To take care of our minds and bodies and hearts so that we can prolong it. To be and do as much as we can in the short time we have. To love fiercely and deeply. To be good to other people and help them along in their journey too.
To change the world into a better, kinder, more equitable place. Because regardless of what anyone says or does, this world belongs to all of us… and we belong in it.
To learn from our mistakes and try to cause as little harm as possible. To figure out who we are so that we can be them, and to remember that who we are isn’t stagnant, so the change shouldn’t stop until the end.
I do not believe in the afterlife, at least not the kind where I continue to be me. So I think we need to make this life matter because it is all we’ve got.
To grow and help others grow. That is how I make my life matter.
“Your body is not your masterpiece — your life is."
It is suggested to us a million times a day that our bodies are projects. They aren’t. Our lives are. Our spirituality is. Our relationships are. Our work is.
Stop spending all day obsessing, cursing, perfecting your body like it’s all you’ve got to offer the world. Your body is not your art, it’s your paintbrush.
Whether your paintbrush is a tall paintbrush or a thin paintbrush or a stocky paintbrush or a scratched-up paintbrush is completely irrelevant.
What is relevant is that you have a paintbrush that can be used to transfer your insides onto the canvas of your life — where others can see it and be inspired and comforted by it.
Your body is not your offering. It’s just a really amazing instrument that you can use to create your offering each day. Don’t curse your paintbrush. Don’t sit in a corner wishing you had a different paintbrush. You’re wasting time. You’ve got the one you got.
Be grateful, because without it you’d have nothing with which to paint your life’s work. Your life’s work is the love you give and receive — and your body is the instrument you use to accept and offer love on your soul’s behalf. It’s a system.
We are encouraged to obsess over our instrument’s shape — but our body’s shape has no effect on its ability to accept and offer love for us. Just none.
Maybe we continue to obsess because as long we keep wringing our hands about our paintbrush shape, we don’t have to get to work painting our lives.
Stop fretting. The truth is that all paintbrush shapes work just fine — and anybody who tells you different is trying to sell you something. Don’t buy. Just paint.
No wait — first, stop what you are doing and say thank you to your body — right now.
Say thank you to your eyes for taking in the beauty of sunsets and storms and children blowing out birthday candles…
And say thank you to your hands for writing love letters and opening doors and stirring soup and waving to strangers…
And say thank you to your legs for walking you from danger to the safety and climbing so many mountains for you.
Then pick up your instrument and start painting this day beautiful and bold and wild and free and YOU. Paint this day beautiful, bold, wild & free.“
4 years ago. Saturday, October 30, 2021 at 7:18 AM
• BDSM: The Naked Truth by Dr. Charley Ferrer • Dear Raven and Joshua: Questions and Answers About Master/Slave Relationships by Joshua Tenpenny and Raven Kaldera • Devil in the Details I: The Art of Mastery, A Mentoring Trilogy - The Master, The Slave, The Power by LT Morrison • Different Loving: The World of Sexual Dominance and Submission by William Brame, Gloria Brame and Jon Jacobs • Living M/s: A Book for Masters, slaves and Their Relationships by Dan and Dawn Williams • Master/slave Relations: Handbook of Theory and Practice by Robert Rubel • Protocols: A Variety of Views by Robert Rubel • Real Service by Joshua Tenpenny and Raven Kaldera • Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns: The Romance and Sexual Sorcery of Sadomasochism by Philip Miller and Molly Devon • SM101: A Realistic Introduction by Jay Wiseman • The Control Book by Peter Masters • The Loving Dominant by John and Libby Warren • The New Bottoming Book by Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy. • The New Topping Book by Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy. • The Ultimate Guide to Kink: BDSM, Role Play and the Erotic Edge by Tristan Taormino • This Curious Human Phenomenon: An Exploration of Some Uncommonly Explored Aspects of BDSM by Peter Masters • Where I Am Led: A Service Exploration Workbook by Christina Parker
4 years ago. Thursday, October 28, 2021 at 7:53 AM
No matter where we are in life and what we do there is always a pecking order and it reminds me of the Bob Dylan song "Gotta Serve Somebody". The premise of the song is that in life no matter what we do, everyone will have someone they are accountable to and within the lifestyle, there is a mantra called the D/s Hierarchy. This little ‘list’ has been around for years and years. So long, that it was something that I can remember discussing twenty-plus years ago with my lifestyle mentors. FYI, that makes me feel old to say that but I am only as old as feel, and trust me I do not feel that old. Anyway, back to the lifestyle hierarchy and it goes simply like this:
There are some variants out there that also include a dominant’s whims below the d-type’s wants and above s-type’s wants. No matter the version, I want to take a bit of time and discuss what many in the lifestyle preach and see as written in stone as though they are the lifestyle version of the Ten Commandments, although it would just be the four or five commandments depending on the version of these mitzvahs subscribed to.
A quick ‘squirrel’ moment here but how come I have yet to see an “Online dom” take the name, Moses. It could be perfect, he could offer to part a submissive’s legs with the power of his ‘godlike’ wang and after he climbs on and mounts the submissive, he could deliver his ten commandments for the s-type to follow. Okay, back to my thoughts…
Just like many things in life, this is a great start point for someone new to the lifestyle and for lack of better words ‘to get a clue about how things function in a lifestyle relationship. So I do agree this is a great starting point, a wonderful discussion piece but there is another element that will stick its ugly long nose in thus messing with this ideal and this bit of nasal nastiness is life.
I do believe that a dominant no matter if they are a stern master or a tender daddy type as well as any combination in between, should always endeavor to put their submissive first but this is when that Wicked Witch of the West of life can upset any relationship’s happy apple cart. It is not a question of if but when this will happen. When relationship apples are tossed willy nilly all over the road of life (is the road paved, yellow bricked, or washboard dirt…The things my mind wonders), there will be times when the submissive will have to put the needs of their dominant first and the d-type must allow this to happen. It can be a momentary bump that has jostled the dominant or it could be a serious situation but in any relationship, there will come a time when a d-type must step aside and allow their s-type to take care of their needs while placing their needs secondary. It would be amazing if life was a fairytale where after teaming up to slay a fire-breathing dragon while dating a dominant and submissive earn happily ever after but sadly we do not live in epic Disney movies.
So moving on to wants. Right now, I want some dark chocolate and coffee. Alas, the chocolate is not going to happen as I am in recovery from unhealthy eating last week but the coffee has appeared. Okay, back to the topic at hand, once again I agree in theory the wants of dominant over submissive are logical, makes sense, and truly fits a power exchange relationship however just like above, I believe that it needs to be allowed to be fluid rather than carved into granite.
Why I believe this about wants, is left wanting, is because this is one of the amazing ways that as a dominant I can encourage a submissive partner to fulfill my wants. In my opinion, a submissive is wired to please and takes great pleasure in meeting both the wants and needs of their d-type. When a dominant invests time and effort to make a serious deposit into a submissives ‘want bank’, the interest they are earning is fueling the submissive’s ‘need’ to fulfill the d-type’s wants (even those very naughty and selfish ones). I look at satisfying the wants of a partner as making deposits into the bank of mutual need. The more you invest today, the more the hunger, thirst, desire, and the need to be with each other will compound and grow over time. So if a dominant does make some investments that put the submissive’s wants a priority over their own, they are investing in their partner and will see that investment pay off many times over. By investing in a submissives wants, a dominant will reap a return on their investment that even the best stockbrokers would be jealous of.
Mantras like this hierarchy I believe are great teaching and discussion tools but so many times I believe that like many things in the world people will take them over the top. This is a great thing to share with someone new to the lifestyle and converse about with newbies and veterans alike but when it comes to partnerships in the real and often turbulent world people can place percepts such as this above the relationship thus setting it up to fail. Talking points are great for sailing through smooth waters but they need to be adjusted as needed to account for a storm on the sea of life or for investing in the treasure that is a partner. One of the keys to building a successful lifestyle relationship is to build a solid foundation but never forget to keep things flexible enough to bend with the winds of life, never forgetting a lifestyle relationship is a partnership between dominant and submissive here on the third rock from the sun where life takes twists and turns which do not lead to solutions that are set in stone nor can they be healed by pretending that d/s is a magic elixir.
4 years ago. Wednesday, October 27, 2021 at 5:58 AM
There is nothing easy about surrendering yourself to another person. Anyone who tells you otherwise tries to convince you that submission is a weakness, doesn’t understand the nature of strength. If being a submissive was a switch I could flick on and off, I’m not sure that I would turn it on most days. Making yourself vulnerable is a terrifying thing.
As humans, we spend our lives building walls to keep out hurt. We construct mechanisms to defend ourselves against vulnerability, hoping to protect our hearts. But, as FDR famously said, “Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the assessment that something else is more important than fear.”
To be submissive is to invite someone behind those walls. To cast off your armor, lay down your weapons, and crawl into the arms of another person, trusting that they will not betray you. To submit is to choose each day not to recoil, to not construct new walls, or draw your weapons. It doesn’t mean that we aren’t scared. It doesn’t mean that some days it won’t be the hardest thing we do. But it does mean that each day we choose submission over fear, not because we are weak, but because we are strong.
Focus intently and you’ll see the unseeable. The world she rarely shares with anyone; the darkest corners she scarcely visits herself. Henry Miller wrote that an indescribably magnificent world appears within anything or anyone the moment we pay closer attention. Notice the parts of her you’re only privy to if you truly listen while she speaks. Be attentive to her every detail. The subtle differences that make her, her. Unlike any other. See the constellations of faded birthmarks speckled across her skin or how the brown of her eyes is simply a layer atop a churning sea of hazel. See that some days she is distant, off in her head, and rarely smiles for hours while others she is keenly aware of her thoughts and actions, bubbling with joy and laughter. Focus intently and you’ll be gifted the subtleties of her magnificent hidden world like the nuances of her squeezes, the individual meanings while holding your hand, or the sordid conversations she has with you with nothing more than a gaze.”
She's the color in the world. Dangerous curves from a steady, sweeping broad stroke. My fingerprints graze her outline. She has hair that smells like coffee, Eyes like the night sky- dark and calm. Soft lips that tempt like honey and taste like depravity. She takes the abuse, the sadistic way I coat her canvas. Pretty colors and decorations adorn her and she wears them well.
With fingerprints on her throat and soft whimpers in my ear. She degrades herself with words, her value for my pleasure. Eager to please. Eager to be useful. She salivates with every strike of my hand, edging from the pain of my enjoyment. She strips and presents herself, a mess between her thighs. Her eyes begged me to let her taste what I've done to her.
She's my favorite flavor of sin. An intoxicated, masochistic junkie. She'll follow me everywhere, just to chase the chaos. And the chaos is loud, but I don't know how to love another way.
4 years ago. Saturday, October 23, 2021 at 9:32 AM
* Not Dark Yet ~ Bob Dylan ~ Time Out Of Mind * I Put A Spell On You ~ Nina Simone ~Four Woman * Destroyer ~ The Kinks ~ Come Dancing With The Kinks * Your Bright Baby Blues~ Jackson Browne ~ The Pretender * Dessert Rose ~ Sting~ Brand New Day * The Rain Song ~ Led Zepplin ~ Houses Of The Holy * The First Taste~ Fiona Apple ~ Tidal * How Can You Mend A Broken Heart ~ Al Green ~ Let's Stay Together * Losing My Touch~ Kieth Richards (The Rolling Stones) ~ 40 Licks * Angel ~ Dave Matthews Band~ Everyday
The First Taste ~ Fiona Apple
I lie in an early bed thinking late thoughts Waiting for the black to replace my blue I do not struggle in your web Because it was my aim to get caught
But daddy long legs I feel that I'm finally growing weary Of waiting to be consumed by you
Give me the first taste Let it begin Heaven cannot wait forever Darling, just start the chase I'll let you win But you must make the endeavor
Oh, your love gives me a heart contusion Adagio breezes fill my skin with sudden red Your hungry flirt borders intrusion I'm building memories on things we have not said
Full is not heavy as empty Not nearly my love Not nearly my love Not nearly
Give me the first taste Let it begin Heaven cannot wait forever Darling, just start the chase I'll let you win But you must make the endeavor
Well, I just started a really fantastic book called "Lust & Wonder", By Augusten Burroughs. It is a sarcastic, witty and comedic masterpiece. (Imho) I've read quite a few books by him and I love his style of writing.
I'm also re-reading another great book called "Bob Dylan, The Essential Interviews" By Jonathon Cott. I absolutely love the book.
Do you prefer a tablet for reading or holding a real book in your hands?
