It's All Relevant

Music seems to have a primal hold on us, reaching the very core of what it means to be human and reminding us that we are all small-town girls, living in lonely worlds. And when it finally hits that chorus, you know that you'll never stop believing. We have chills — do you have chills? If so, you might have a very special kind of brain.

A Sensory Superpower
As it turns out, getting chills from music is not as common as you might think. Researchers from USC released a study that suggests that only about 50 percent of people feel things like shivers, a lump in their throat, and goosebumps when they listen to music. What's more, those people might have very different brains than those who don't experience those feelings.

First, they gathered 20 people and had them listen to a selection of their favorite songs. Whenever they felt a chill, they pressed a button. All 20 were then given MRI scans — and the 10 that reported reactions were obvious standouts. Their brains turned out to have a much higher volume of fibers connecting their auditory cortex to the areas that process emotion.

More fibers mean that those two areas of the brain can communicate much more effectively. It also means that, because their emotional processing centers are beefier, those people are more able to experience extreme emotions.

A Feeling of Frisson
This study might shed light on the causes of the phenomenon, but it's been well-documented for years. It even has a name. The phenomenon of chills or goosebumps that come from a piece of music (or from any other aesthetic experience) is called frisson, and it's been one of the big mysteries of human nature since it was first described.

That's because even if we know the actual mechanism that causes frisson — a close connection to the emotional processing center — we don't know what purpose it could serve us. However other studies have suggested some potential benefits of this kind of behavior.

One report from 2007 found that individuals who experience frisson are more open to new experiences than others, and other studies described higher levels of creativity and intellectual curiosity. In other words, the appreciation of beauty is central to what makes us human, and Frisson is just a super-charged version of that appreciation.

***This article first appeared on Curiosity.com.

Definition - What does Shibari mean?
Shibari is a traditional form of artistic rope bondage that originated in Japan. The word Shibari literally translates as "to tie." Thin pieces of rope are used to create the intricate geometric patterns and shapes that characterize this beautiful and sensual art form Shibari.
Shibari developed from the ancient martial art of Hojo-Jutsu which the police and Samurai used to restrain prisoners from 1400 to 1700. In the late 1800s, a new erotic form of Hojo-Jutsu, dubbed Kinbaku, became popular. Kinbaku means "tight binding." More recently, the term Shibari has become a common term throughout the world to describe the intricate rope bondage practiced in BDSM play. Many people use the terms interchangeably although some suggest that Shibari refers specifically to the aesthetic rope bondage while Kinbaku describes the sexual experience as a whole.
Shibari is also commonly called Japanese rope bondage.

Kinkly explains Shibari:
A Shibari session can be thought of as a power exchange that develops through the use of ropes. The person who ties, commonly known as the rigger, restrains his or her partner, known as the model, according to the emotional and physical reactions observed.
Shibari devotees enjoy the way that the elaborate rope designs and the material's rugged texture contrast with smooth skin and its simple curves. Some have likened the model to a canvas, and the rigger to an artist who uses rope instead of a brush and paint.
Shibari ropes and knots are also strategically positioned to stimulate the body's pressure points, almost like a Shiatsu massage. The model typically derives pleasure from ties across their breasts, genitals, and other erogenous zones. In some cases, the model is also stimulated by whipping or beating tools. Shibari is often used in conjunction with suspension bondage. Shibari sessions often involve intercourse, but this isn't always the case.
Traditionalists believe the practice of Shibari can stimulate Ki energy flow and transfer. It’s also possible for the model to enter a trance-like state as their endorphins and other hormone levels increase. The term "rope drunk" has been used to describe the state of a model recovering from a Shibari session

Let’s Talk Submissive Safety...

Walking the journey of a submissive can be one that is both difficult, and fraught with personal danger, but there are many ways to make that journey safer. Let’s talk about some of how YOU as a submissive, can minimize your risk while pursuing your kink journey…

DON’T GO IT ALONE!!

In isolation, you have no one to turn to for help. One of the single most disturbing types of asks I have gotten over the years has been from submissive people who find themselves in an unhealthy relationship with a partner they are living with, but have nowhere to go, and no one to support their leaving. Once you cease trusting someone’s intentions toward you, you need to have a place to bail out, and people who will support a healthy decision to get out, and start over. Without a backup plan, an abusive relationship can evolve unchecked, with the abuser able to feel like they have the run on their destructive behavior without accountability.

THERE IS SAFETY IN NUMBERS…
Once an abuser understands that you have support and that their behavior may lead them to trouble with the law, obliterate their reputation within a community of kink, or in any way become answerable for their actions, it becomes more complicated for an abuser to run the table on your limits and consent.

LEARN
How can learning keep you safe? You’re reading this post, aren’t you? If you take to heart some of what is laid out herein, will you not be safer? The more you know about the rules and etiquette surrounding kink, the less likely you are to be taken in by those who aren’t interested in pesky “safewords”, or other obvious signs you’re not speaking to someone who should be considered for your submission.

FIRST “IN REAL LIFE” MEETINGS
If you’re meeting a prospective dominant in real life for the first time, do it in a public place. A dominant who would be a good candidate for your submission will not try to steer you from meeting in a public place or push you towards doing things that would take you away from that public place.

TELL SOMEONE WHAT YOU’RE DOING
When meeting a prospective Dominant for the first time, tell someone you know and trust what you’re doing, and arrange to check in with them several times during your date so they know it is going well, and you are safe. If a prospective Dominant has a problem with this safe practice, do not meet them, or exit the date promptly when that is made known.

SCREENING CANDIDATES
One of the most important skills a submissive can hone is their ability to screen prospective Dominants. During this time you can ask a million questions about their views on life, philosophies in kink, experience, personal lives, or what kind of dynamic they would build with you, and their plan for carrying it out. This is a time to get to know and trust the person who you may ask to control multiple aspects of your life. You want to really KNOW this person. Nothing is more dangerous than an excited submissive who throws caution to the wind in this realm. Being a good screener is part of being a good, safe submissive.

SAFEWORDS
Never let a Dominant forbid you from keeping or using a safeword to stop anything that may prove beyond your limits within your dynamic. While some D/s couples choose to put them aside and respect a basic, “no”, or “stop” from their partners, the safeword is meant to be one of the few universally understood last vestiges of power a submissive holds within any power dynamic. Any dominant who limits or forbids you to keep one, and use one, is to be avoided. If you are being pushed past your limits without a way to make it stop, you are being abused.

~Author Unknown

**** Additionally, I have been engaged in this lifestyle in various capacities for over thirty years. I believe this topic in this post is prudent advice.

* Best Of You ~ Foo Fighters ~ In Your Honor

* When The Party's Over ~ Billie Eilish ~ When We Fall Asleep , Where Do We Go

* Frozen Charlotte ~ Natalie Merchant~ Ophelia

* Rodriguez  ~  Crucify Your Mind ~ Cold Fact

* State Of Love And Trust ~ Pearl Jam ~ MTV Unplugged

* Love Minus Zero / No Limit  ~ Bob  Dylan ~ Live At The Odeon, Liverpool, London, 1962-1966

* Dreamin Man ~ Neil Young ~ Harvest Moon

* Gimme Danger ~ The Stooges  ~ A Million In Prizes

* Love Song #2  ~ The White Buffalo ~ Prepare For Black And Blue

* You Can't Put Your Arms Around A Memory ~ Johnny Thunders~ So Alone

~~~Love Minue Zero/ No Limit

My love, she speaks like silence,
Without ideals or violence,
She doesn't have to say she's faithful,
Yet she's true, like ice, like fire.
People carry roses,
Make promises by the hours,
My love, she laughs like the flowers,
Valentine's can't buy her.

In the dime stores and bus stations,
People talk of situations,
Read books, repeat quotations,
Draw conclusions on the wall.
Some speak of the future,
My love, she speaks softly,
She knows there's no success like failure
And that failure's no success at all.

The cloak and dagger dangles,
Madams light the candles.
In ceremonies of the horsemen,
Even the pawn must hold a grudge.
Statues made of match sticks,
Crumble into one another,
My love winks, she does not bother,
She knows too much to argue or to judge.

The bridge at midnight trembles,
The country doctor rambles,
Bankers' nieces seek perfection,
Expecting all the gifts that wise men bring.
The wind howls like a hammer,
The night blows cold and rainy,
My love, she's like some raven
At my window with a broken wing.

It's incredibly rare, almost a treasure, to discover someone who embodies your “safe place” in life. This is the person to whom you can reveal your vulnerabilities, unafraid to break down and share your struggles. They become your confidant—someone who listens without judgment and provides a sense of solace when the world feels overwhelming. They are your haven of peace amid the chaos of everyday life.

In addition to being a source of comfort, they serve as your keeper of dreams, nurturing your aspirations and encouraging you to chase after them. Together, you embark on a journey of mutual inspiration, cultivating hopes and envisioning a future filled with shared goals. This is the person who gently but firmly nudges you to invest in yourself, whether that means pursuing education, taking on new challenges, or fostering personal growth. 

When life throws obstacles in your path, this individual is there to help you strategize and navigate your way through difficulties. They are the one who rises early in the morning or sacrifices their own late-night plans just to spend time with you, demonstrating their commitment and care. 

Although it may seem that finding someone who can fulfill this role should be straightforward, the reality is quite different. So many people can catch your eye with their attractiveness, charm, or flirtation; they may seem enticing and prevalent in the world around you. However, when it comes to finding someone who will be steady and dependable—who will stand by your side during the darkest days and the most challenging times—that’s a rarity. 

Such a connection might occur just once or twice in a lifetime, making it all the more precious. When you find people who offer you this level of support and unwavering loyalty, hold onto them fiercely. Cherish these relationships and never let them go, for they are truly invaluable.

~M

* London Calling ~ The Clash ~ London Calling (Remastered)

* Dog Days Are Over ~ Florence And The Machine ~ Lungs

* It's Raining ~ Inara George ~ Bridesmaids Soundtrack

* I'd Love To Change The World ~ Ten Years After ~ A Space In Time

* I Love You ~ Derek Holt ~ After The Climax

* Trapped ~ Bruce Springsteen ~ Live at Meadowlands Arena, NJ (August 1984)

* Slave To Love ~ Bryan Ferry ~ Girls And Boys 

* Tweeter And The Monkeyman ~ The Traveling WIlburys

* Can't You Hear Me Knocking ~ The Rolling Stones~ Sticky Fingers

* That Glow ~ St. Paul & The Broken Bones ~ Half The City

* Both Sides Now ~ Gang Of Youths ~ Let Me Be Clear

* Happiness Is A Warm Gun ~ The Beatles ~ The Beatles

Slave To Love ~ Bryan Ferry

Tell her I’ll be waiting

In the usual place

With the tired and weary

And there’s no escape

To need a woman

You’ve got to know

How the strong get weak

And the rich get poor

Slave to love, slave to love

No, I can’t escape Cos I’m a slave to love

You’re running with me

Don’t touch the ground

We’re the restless hearted

Not the chained and bound

The sky is burning

A sea of flame

Though your world is changing

I will be the same

Slave to love…Can you help me?

The storm is breaking

Or so it seems

We’re too young to reason

Too grown up to dream

Now spring is turning

Your face to mine

I can hear your laughter

I can see your smile

Slave to love…

Here’s the truth: Friendships between women are often the deepest, most profound love stories, yet they are frequently discussed as if they are secondary, “bonus” relationships compared to what is deemed truly important. Women’s friendships endure beyond jobs, parents, husbands, boyfriends, lovers, and at times, even children. It’s possible to transcend the confines of your own being through these connections. Such friendships are not frivolous ties or supplementary relationships to the ones we’re taught to prioritize—spouses, children, and parents. They embody love. Support, salvation, transformation, and life: this is what women offer to one another when they are genuine friends, soul friends.

People often say it's just sex, but who truly desires mere physical encounters? I yearn for everything that precedes it—each carefully chosen word that dances between us, the gradual unfolding of my deepest desires noted with precision. I crave the presence of a true gentleman combined with a tenderness that lingers in the air. I long for the secrets we whisper, the fleeting thoughts of you that remain in my mind. I want someone who will take their time to dismantle my barriers, peeling away the layers slowly and intentionally, starting with the delicate intricacies of my mind and heart. By the time they reach my body, they will know how to treat it with the reverence it deserves. They won't be strangers or someone unknown; instead, I’ll become a familiar presence, soft yet untamed in their hands. With them, nothing feels forbidden; our truth has been laid bare, shared like an open book. They can read the language in my eyes, attuned to my moans and whimpers, comprehending every sensation they evoke. They’ve memorized the details of my being, cradling my spirit in their thoughts, and patiently awaited this moment. When we finally shed our layers behind closed doors, it transcends mere physicality; it transforms into something profound—an act of salvation.

~M

* If You Could Read My MInd ~ Gordon Lightfoot ~ If You Read My Mind 

* Time (Clock Of My Heart) ~ Culture Club ~ Culture Club

* Prove It All Night ( Live @ MSG) ~ Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band~ Live In New York City

* THe Thin Ice ~ Pink Floyd ~ The Wall

* The Lemon Song ~ Led Zeppelin~ Led Zeppelin II

* All The Good Girls Love Alice ~ Elton John ~ Goodbye Yelloow Brick Road

* A Fool In Love ~ Ike And Tina Turner ~The Soul Of Ike & Tina Turner

* Lost Stars ~  Adam Leveine ~ Music From "Begin Again"

* These Arms Of Mine ~ Ottis Redding ~ The Very Best Of Ottis Redding  

* Devils Haircul ~ Beck ~ Odelay

~A Fool In Love  ~ Ike & Tina Turner 

Oh, there's something on my mind;
Won't somebody please, please tell me what's wrong?

You're just a fool, you know you're in love (What you say?);
You've got to face it to live in this world (Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey... whoa, hey hey)
You take the good along with the bad;
Sometimes you're happy, and sometimes you're sad (One more time...)
You know you love him, you can't understand (Tell me bout it!)
Why he treats you like he do, when he's such a good man...

He's got me smiling when I should be ashamed;
Got me laughing when my heart is in pain;
Oh now, I must be a fool,
But I'll do anything he wants me to...
Now how come?

You're just a fool, you know you're in love (Tell me one more time);
You've got to face it to live in this world (Hey, hey hey, hey, hey... whoa, hey, hey)
You take the good along with the bad;
Sometimes you're happy, and sometimes you're sad (One more time...)
You know you love him, you can't understand (Tell me bout it!)
Why he treats you like he do, when he's such a good man...

Listen, without my man, I don't wanna live;
You think I'm lying, but I'm telling you like it is:
He's got my nose open, and that's no lie,
And I, I'm gonna keep him satisfied;
Now how come...

You're just a fool, you know you're in love (Tell me how come...)
You've got to face it to live in this world (Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey... whoa, hey hey)
You take the good along with the bad;
Sometimes you're happy, and sometimes you're sad (One more time...)
You know you love him, you can't understand (Tell me bout it!)
Why he treats you like he do when he's such a good man...

Listen, ways of action speaks louder than words;
The truest saying that I ever heard...
I trust my man in all that he do,
And I'll, and I'll do anything he wants me to do
Now how come?

You're just a fool, you know you're in love (tell me one more time...)
You've got to face it to live in this world (Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey... whoa, hey hey)
You take the good along with the bad;
Sometimes you're happy, and sometimes you're sad (Tell me one more time...)
You know you love him, you can't understand (Ooh...)
Why he treats you like he do, when he's such a good man...

(Tell me...)
Doo doo, doo, doo (Tell me one more time...)
Doo doo, doo, doo (Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey... yeah, hey hey)
Doo doo, doo, doo (One more time!)
Doo doo, doo, doo (Ooh...)
Doo doo, doo, doo...

Our most painfully evident weakness, especially for those of us who wear our hearts on our sleeves or love with unguarded sincerity, lies in our unwavering tendency to place complete and unyielding faith in the person we adore. With every beat of our hearts, we convince ourselves that they share the same deep, fervent affection that envelops us, yet the bitter truth often strikes: this is rarely the case.

Sometimes, what we interpret as emotional detachment or lack of concern is simply that—indifference in its most stark form. It can be profoundly challenging to accept, but when they choose silence over engagement, it lays bare a harsh reality: they don’t genuinely care about us in the way we yearn for. An unreturned text message, which we might hope is a playful tease or an indication of coyness, reveals a more distressing truth. It serves as a passive-aggressive signal, a telling message that we matter so little to them that we don’t even warrant the courtesy of a reply.

For those of us who love with remarkable intensity and offer our hearts with unwavering sincerity, it becomes essential to take a lesson from those who masterfully safeguard their emotions. We must gather and equip ourselves with the invaluable tools found in their emotional survival kits.

So here I stand, resolutely determined to engage in the essential process of reconstructing the protective walls I once courageously dismantled just for you, brick by brick, to shield my heart from further harm.

~M