It's All Relevant

The first album I ever purchased was Dark Side of The Moon. I recall taking it out of its jacket and being awestruck by its glossy appearance. I carefully set it on the turntable and dropped the needle onto the first track. As 'Speak to Me' played, I turned the volume up to seven, completely captivated by the sound. I adored it. Next up was 'Breathe," which further drew me into this incredible work. When 'Run, Rabbit, Run!' started, I cranked the volume another notch higher. Following that was 'On The Run,' a truly psychedelic experience. Finally, 'Time' played my favorite track on the album. 

{Lyrics Below}

Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day
Fritter and waste the hours in an off-hand way
Kicking around on a piece of ground in your home town
Waiting for someone or something to show you the way

Tired of lying in the sunshine staying home to watch the rain
You are young and life is long and there is time to kill today
And then one day you find ten years have got behind you
No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun

And you run and you run to catch up with the sun but it's sinking
Racing around to come up behind you again
The sun is the same in a relative way, but you're older
Shorter of breath and one day closer to death

Every year is getting shorter, never seem to find the time
Plans that either come to naught or half a page of scribbled lines
Hanging on in quiet desperation is the English way
The time is gone, the song is over, thought I'd something more to say

Home, home again
I like to be here when I can
And when I come home cold and tired
It's good to warm my bones beside the fire
Far away, across the field
The tolling of the iron bell
Calls the faithful to their knees
To hear the softly spoken magic spell

I can only express my amazement. The lyrics of "Time" completely astonished my impressionable teenage mind. "The Great Gig in the Sky" is another remarkable track with incredible vocals. Clare Torry's voice is outstanding. Following that is "Money," a commercial hit. Then we have "Us and Them" and "Any Color You Like.." We can't forget "Brain Damage," another personal favorite.

{Lyrics Below}

The lunatic is on the grass
The lunatic is on the grass
Remembering games and daisy chains and laughs
Got to keep the loonies on the path

The lunatic is in the hall
The lunatics are in my hall
The paper holds their folded faces to the floor
And every day the paper boy brings more

And if the dam breaks open many years too soon
And if there is no room upon the hill
And if your head explodes with dark forebodings too
I'll see you on the dark side of the moon

The lunatic is in my head
The lunatic is in my head
You raise the blade, you make the change
You re-arrange me 'til I'm sane

You lock the door and throw away the key
There's someone in my head but it's not me.

And if the cloud bursts thunder in your ear
You shout and no one seems to hear
And if the band you're in starts playing different tunes
I'll see you on the dark side of the moon

I can't think of anything to say except...
I think it's marvelous! Ha, ha, ha!

Finally, with the volume cranked up to ten, I heard a crackle. Unfortunately, I missed the last song because my dad came home just in time to discover that I'd blown his thousand-dollar speakers. I'm grounded for two weeks, but before I'm sent to my room, he hands me my record. I have to say, my dad was such a cool guy!

“Because a song can take you back instantly to a moment, a place, or even a person. No matter what else has changed in you or the world, that one song stays the same, just like that moment. Which is pretty amazing, when you actually think about it.”
— Sarah Dessen, Listen

“To trust is sometimes to surrender.” - Victor Hugo

She tells me he’s texted her today. He’s started liking all her posts and photos again. Hop in the car and the radio sings “It’s been a while since I have even heard from you… I should just tell you to leave ‘cause I know exactly where it leads…” Fuck. Thanks Tay-Tay.

"Exes"

Everyone has ‘em. An ex comes in all shapes and sizes. Psychotic. Manipulative. Slimy. Respectful. Life-long friends. Forgotten memories. We all have history.

Relationships are difficult enough; having the past knock on the door and reintroduce itself can make it even more difficult.

If you let it.

“Love doesn’t hurt.
 Assumptions do.”

Truthfully, the old me would sincerely struggle with a past flame. Twist and turn in my head til I made myself nauseous. Angry. Resentful. Lash out.

The old me would unzip my baggage and pour it all over the good we had wholeheartedly built. Let my self-esteem issues seep into the cracks of our foundation. Fester. Ruin.

The old me would submit to the dark thoughts. Allow me to feel threatened and disrespected. Depressed.

And, the old me would inevitably destroy a beautiful relationship and blame her for not seeing my point of view or his hidden agenda. Blame him for being conniving. Blame everyone but myself.

I’m trying desperately to not be that old me.

Communication. Trust. Faith. Honesty. Commitment. Love.

These are all stronger than baggage and self-esteem issues. More powerful than dark thoughts and misguided blame.

Exes. We all got 'em.

But they are an ex for a reason. Whatever the reason; ugly or not, they are yesterday. We are now.

I can’t control what others do or say. I can only try to manage my actions and words. It really is that simple. Anger only begets anger. That whole Golden Rule thing. So today I choose to be accepting. Understanding, upfront, and above all trusting. Focus on the now not the past. To love hard. Grateful and appreciative of the person who chooses, despite all my flaws, to share her life with me. She deserves this… I deserve this.

~originallandlockedmariner

I have friends who have stuck with me for many years, and for that, I am deeply grateful. Some of these friendships transcend factors that would normally inhibit strong bonds: Distance, age, and race. Some of these friendships were born from a shared affinity for kinks and perversions. How did we make the transition from “Fuck, that is hot” to “Talking with you always makes my day better”?

The only thing necessary to make that happen is to remember: There is so much more to us than what we post. :)

The concept of training is on my mind however, it is not training in the business world nor the faux dominants who lurk on the internet trying to prey up on new submissives to be their personal BDSM trainer, but it is occurring to me that many submissives fail to ask some very important questions of dominant they are interested in. So here are ten questions I feel submissives should ask potential Doms.

When it comes to implements of ‘fun’ (crops, floggers, whips, plugs, and I could go on and on), ask how the d-type was taught about safely using them. With those same arousing bits of equipment, ask the dominant if they have had them used ON them. Quick news flash, even if the d-type was not a fan of how it ‘felt’ they should have experienced them so they can understand how they will feel for you their submissive.

Inquire about how the dominant continue their education in the lifestyle.
Find out where the d-type would go if they had a question/concern. Do they have mentors/friends or would they fire off an anonymous ask to a blog?
Inquire about mistakes they have made as a dominant.

When discussing errors with a D-type, listen to determine if they share life lessons they have learned from their failures. Be wary of anyone who claims to be mistake-free or struggles to know/share the lessons of their missteps.

How much time are you able to give to building a relationship? It is important to ask this upfront as many people expect more and more time as things grow and develop. Ensure there is an understanding of how much time can be invested and where/when life will infringe upon this time.

If they are a new(er) d-type find out what intrigues them and those they would like to explore. Remember that exploration is no guarantee these things will become likes, wants, or needs but it will give an idea of the interests lurking in the dominant’s mind. You can even ask this of an ‘old dog’ to find out what ‘new tricks’ they are interested in.

In long-term relationships, how will you use the lifestyle (and vanilla items) to keep the partnership from becoming stagnant and/or routine?
If at any point you have ‘assumed’ anything about a dominant, make it a point to ask about it, no matter how trivial it may seem. Remember every assumption, even the small ones, can quickly make an ass out of you (or them).

When it comes to asking questions and getting to know a prospective partner, please always ask the same questions differently on different days. I know it may sound rude, that you are intentionally trying to trip up the D-type, but you are reassuring yourself that the answers are consistent. This consistency will help both of you build trust in each other and this is important in any relationship but especially so in a lifestyle partnership.

Finally, never feel that as a submissive, you cannot ask something because of the role you are identified with. If you, as an s-type, have something on your mind, always feel comfortable expressing it. I believe that any supposed D-type who would say “A submissive should never ask this” is simply looking to avoid a line of questioning that would lead to unflattering revelations coming out about that person. So, if you think about it, ask it!

Remember the only bad question is the one you are afraid to ask.

* Unknown Author

Recently I was having a conversation about how many people on both sides of the slash sometimes do not understand the dangers of this lifestyle.

The conversation that prompted this discussion was here online between a D-type and their submissive. So I want to start by paraphrasing the conversation.

The dominant had played the fun game of keeping their submissive aroused throughout the day which caused the submissive to have a case of chronically wet panties for hours on end. I do understand the fun of teasing a partner throughout their day and having them in a state of arousal, which can lead to amazing things when the person returns home or when they meet for a date later in the evening. I think that is all well and good but in this case, what happened caused me to have a facepalming moment.

The d-type was very successful with their intentions of keeping the s-type turned on continuously throughout the day but the problem, for me, happened when the submissive repeatedly asked for permission to change their ‘soaked’ panties. The d-type out and out refused and said something the effect of, you made them this way, you deal with it. The problem is that this has been ongoing for hours and what Dudley is ignorant of or simply does not care about is what can happen to lady parts if they are in contact with damp clothing for extended periods, just in case you did not know, that wonderful thing is yeast infections (and possibly a urinary tract infection to boot).

As far as dangers to life and limb, a yeast infection is a small fry compared to what can go wrong with lifestyle and everyone needs to understand that some acts of these can lead to permanent harm and/or death if done improperly. The point is that no matter what your role, the side of the slash, or if someone just enjoys some kinky fuckery is that the people involved in them must understand the risks and dangers associated with it. Even something so simple as keeping a partner turned on can lead to health issues. I believe a dominant must invest the time to learn about what side effects can happen and this is especially true for men since let’s face it, most guys (NOT ALL) do not bother to learn much about lady parts other than the penis goes here, periods happen, nor do they care to grasp the hygiene practices that keep things working properly.

I understand that this example is pretty tame compared to the horrific stories that happened when things like breathplay go haywire but, it illustrates the need for a couple of things. First, both D and s types must understand and learn how even the simplest forms of play can impact their partner’s well-being and secondly, even though a person is submissive, there are times when they need to stand up and explain their dominant why they are requesting a deviation from the dominant’s directive. I feel that in this case the submissive should have at some point told their dominant, “Hey, I must change my panties because you do not want your princess parts to have a yeast infection. ” It is possible the dominant was clueless that this could happen and this is when the d and s types need to work as a team to teach each other the things the other may not know or comprehend. Additionally, if a d-type were still declined allow a change of unmentionables for health reasons, truly what do you think would happen if this submissive safe-worded during a scene? Once again for me, this is a red flag and I hope it is for others too. Please remember that even the simplest acts of play can pose dangers, it is imperative to understand them and work to mitigate the risks involved because a kink today can negatively impact your tomorrow.

©TLK2023

Sex is not a goddamn performance. Sex should feel as natural as drinking water. It should not require confidence. Sex should happen, because the moment is ripe. Ripening lips, ripening labia, ripening cock, ripening pupils, ripening state of being. Ripe and augmented and brimming. Your energy goes to your pumping heart, then to every external nerve, then to theirs, on fire. You bask, roll, play in it. You sigh, moan, laugh. It’s not about being “good in bed.” It’s about being happy. One should never worry if they’re doing it “correctly.” Sex is not factual. I don’t want your cookie-cutter sex, I don’t want your meticulously crafted, calculated, fool-proof fuck. I don’t want a show. I want you. Let your instincts, urges, and whims define that. It’s enough. What do most girls like? Forget about it. Statistics are meaningless when there’s only one. Hello, here’s me. Here’s you. Don’t worry about taking it too slow.

We have time. We have infinite rhythms, combinations, and possibilities. Explore each fuck. Let's take our time. We can do a different one later. Don’t worry about making me come. I’m here. Right where I want to be. I am overwhelmed by wanting; you don’t have to convince me. I want you because I like you. So don’t put on a front. Don’t taint this. I’m frustrated—it’s just authenticity I want. It’s originality. It’s passion. It’s joy. Please don’t say that something I like is ugly. Don’t compare yourself to the rest. You will live and die with and within your experiences like everyone else. If someone thinks you are amazing, they are not wrong. Their universe is as real as any other, forged through perception. I don’t care if you accidentally slammed my head into the wall if you slipped out, if my arm cracked, if the delightful pressure of your wet lips on my anything made a silly sound. There is no right way and no wrong way. “Good in bed,” what? You’re good in my bed. I’m pleased you’re there. I feel it suits you. Shove your technique. Let your memory swallow it.  This isn’t a test.

*Author Unknown 

The future is fastidious and punctual. It keeps perfect time and arrives everywhere on the dot. In contrast, its slacker brother, the past has no use for clocks or appointments. It comes and goes as it pleases in our memory, camping out wherever the hell it damn well wants to in there. Untrustworthy, prone to exaggeration, biased— you wouldn’t lend it ten cents, but it sure can be charming and seductive when it feels like it.”

~Jonathan Carroll

Photo By: Me

Life’s endings rarely align with our expectations. Our time spent together was always brimming with vibrancy and love, filled with shared dreams, laughter echoing through the air, and tender moments that ignited joy in our hearts. Yet, when the conclusion finally arrived, it did so with startling abruptness, lacking both the courage of a proper farewell and the dignity of a ceremonial goodbye. It slipped away stealthily, like a whisper fading into the night, leaving only silence in its wake. In an almost cruel twist of fate, a seemingly ordinary moment—one that felt so trivial and unremarkable in the grand tapestry of our lives—was the very moment we unknowingly shared our last exchange, vanishing quietly into the shadows of memory.

I will miss you, my friend.

Just because you wander,
doesn't mean you're lost.
Just because you struggle,
doesn't mean you're failing.
Just because you carry it well,
doesn't mean it isn't heavy.
Just because it's not what you
were expecting, doesn't mean
it's not everything you need.
Just because they're gone, doesn't
mean you have to let them go.
Just because everything is different,
doesn't mean that anything has
changed.
Just because you cannot see it,
doesn't mean you can't believe it.
Just because you see the whole
picture doesn't mean you understand
the whole story.
Just because you don't believe me,
doesn't make me a liar.
Just because the scars have healed,
doesn't mean the pain has.
Just because you can't change,
everything, doesn't mean you shouldn't
try.
Just because I walk alone, doesn't mean
I'm lost.
Just because you're paranoid, doesn't
mean there are aliens.
Just because something hasn't happened,
doesn't mean it's impossible.
Just because it pops into your head, doesn't
mean it should come out of your mouth.
Just because it's the path of least resistance,
doesn't mean it's the right path.
Just because you don't look like all of the
other crayons in the box doesn't mean
you can't make the prettiest picture.
What doesn't challenge you, won't
change you... Just because.

*Author Unknown