She has rules. Not D/s rules, but dating rules. Guys don’t open doors. He walks between a girl and the street. He orders the food and drinks. Old-fashioned chivalry. It’s so natural the way he does it. Like it doesn’t even occur to him. And it affects me in ways I didn’t expect.
“What kind of men have you been dating?” he asks me, laughing after I confess that it takes a bit of getting used to. He tells me I need to value myself more. Aim higher.
But it’s not exactly about that. I do expect a lot from the people I date. And I have dated a number of people who made me feel cared for and protected. I’ve also dated people who haven’t lived up to that. Once in a snowstorm, a man I was dating didn’t even think to walk me to my car, let alone clean off my car for me. That was the moment I knew he wasn’t what I needed. I try to look for someone whose focus is on my well-being. Without that, I can’t submit. I can’t put my whole self in service of their needs when they aren’t attentive to mine.
But…this is different. This is a constant awareness of my body—where I am, how I’m moving, and what I need. And it also makes me aware of his body in ways I hadn’t expected. I stay put just as I’m told until he opens the door, offering me his hand or arm. I stay by his side, his hand in mine guiding me to where I should be. My eyes are on him at the restaurant, not the server. The self-assured way he orders my dinner makes me almost blush. He holds my jacket while I slide my arms inside. In every moment, my focus is on where he is and how he moves. Always near me, always guiding me.
By the end of the night, his attention and control ran through my body like a gently humming electrical current. He has cared for and protected me all night. And that has sparked in me an aching desire to serve him. Buttering his bread at dinner. And so much more when we get to his place.
I feel I’ve underestimated chivalry. It shifts my focus to him. Following him. Anticipating his moves. Relying on him. With his strength wrapped around me, I feel small and delicate and kept. And all I want to do is feed his strength with my service. To kneel for him. To hurt for him. To straighten his tie for him. Being so well cared for, I can’t help but be inspired.
*Unknown