The hardest thing I’ve ever done is His mirror scenes and body image training.
Fuck, I’d rather light myself on fire!
The first set of instructions is a comprehensive written list of all the parts of my body I currently “hate” with details about when it’s the worst (position) or intrudes into my focus. And then I have to give Him the list. He spends days with the list. Asks more questions.
Then comes the instructions for training day.
Forced to look, listen, experience…
To endure grabbing, pulling, and squeezing parts that life, aging, and gravity have been less than kind to. To see all those parts from every angle. To not be allowed to look away, not a moment’s respite.
Once the sobbing subsides a bit, He describes what He sees, showing me the curves He focuses on, the sensations He feels.
He takes His pleasure in every form imaginable while I watch. The mirrors not only show him me, but His pleasure, His undeniable lust, even while grabbing and enjoying the parts I hate. (I’m an evidence-based kinda girl.)
There is an overriding theme, a mantra...
“I am perfect for Him.” That I am never more beautiful than when I’m on my knees or in the moment I have surrendered my being to His to receive the gift of erotic pain or am put to use pleasing Him.
A quote from Him: “Little one I refuse to fucking compete. I will have you, you will give me your complete surrender and focus. I will not abide a competitor. And right now, I’m competing with your inner critic. We will do this as many times as it takes. I will break this distraction and have your complete focus. I will not accept competition.”
And in the end, I am broken and he remakes me. Remakes me to come before Him truly “naked and unashamed.”
@submissive-seeking