At times, it can feel that the older you are, the harder it becomes to find a partner, especially in D/S. A case in point was a recent post from a submissive who has leveled up in life a few times and is seeking a daddy dominant. In their writing, they expressed disappointment because they felt that those who identify as daddy dominants want younger partners thus leaving them out in the cold.
The struggles with lifestyle dating plus the D/S Dear Abbey’s who preach against age differences bring about the need for a frank discussion of age gaps in lifestyle partnerships.
One thing to consider is that a daddy d-type does not mean an age gap in the relationship. This style of dominance is about the methods and manners the D-type employees embrace. There is a common misconception that someone who identifies as a DD wants or needs a younger partner, often significantly younger as a submissive. The same is true about age regression play, an s-type who is a little, being a mandatory component of a lifestyle relationship with a daddy dominant. While many who seek a daddy Dom, do enjoy age play, there are many submissives as well as DDs who find age regression play to not be their jam but simply enjoy the style of leadership that daddies are known for. Additionally, while there are individuals who seek a younger partner, it does not link to a specific role or gender. As an example, we all need to clear our throats so we can “rawr!” because many cougar submissives are prowling about in our kinky forests.
Some assume the role of daddy dominant because they are an ODB, old dirty bastard, that uses the title of “daddy” to target young, naive, and/or vulnerable submissives thus allowing ODB to get thrills. This is the reason the majority of those who take titles online such as lifestyle trainer, teacher, instructor, and professor are ODBs and the use of the before-mentioned monikers must be seen as a red flag. These sleazy schoolmasters often claim they just want to teach the lifestyle which translates into getting their grubby little paws on fresh lifestyle meat. A quick note of clarification, not all who are kinky Professor Proton types are ODBs, some do just teach and share their experiences. These good apples are just like amazing educators in the vanilla world, they want to empower others, but the lessons shared are never done by engaging in hands-on learning. Also, just like in the real world, make sure those who teach their theories, walk a walk in life that reflects their teaching, for example, they do not preach trust as well as honesty while having a wife at home that they cheat on with their students.
On the flip side of that, this is a good flip slide, because the lifestyle brings people together with open minds some connections happen between people who do have a gap in their ages. Open minds make themselves available to being loved and loving someone that perhaps Dr. Phil and vanilla society might disagree with. Speaking of the vanilla world, is it, not a craptastic double standard that men are often lauded for having a much younger partner but women are not? Manthers are acceptable but cougars are not, facepalming. So with the lifestyle being a place where open minds gather, you do encounter more partnerships that occur between people of all ages, and the majority of these come from the heart. Additionally, it is not just dominants with younger submissives in the lifestyle but it is just as likely to see a submissive older, perhaps significantly older, than their d-type.
When it comes to age differences in relationships, more people have contrasts in their “levels” in the lifestyle versus the vanilla bean world but that is not because it is an expectation in D/S nor is it something that daddy dominants want/need but it is due to the prevalence of open minds and hearts that are found here in the lifestyle. While some bad actors try to take advantage of this openness, most people involved in age-gap lifestyle relationships do so from places of goodness rather than from selfishness. With open minds come open hearts and in a lifestyle of very open minds, like D/S, relationships blossom and grow between consenting adults of all ages, even those with gaps between them.
How do you feel about age-gap relationships and why?
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