I know...it sounds so pathetic...alone again...but its true!! I feel like I can't function correctly when he is not here. I mean I DO function...I did get up and go to work, was productive, went to the gym, picked up groceries, remembered to feed the dogs, watch a TV show, did laundry...SEE I can function...but its like its robotic or just going through the motions...
I did cry today...but it was just a few escaped tears that ran down my face. Last time on day 1...I was a huge cry bag...like a 3 year old that you had taken their candy away. This time I just feel so melancholy...like Im just floating through the day with nothing to look forward to at the end of it. I called yesterday D-Day and I feel like I am mourning the death of our time together.
I know that I just need to look forward to the day he comes back to me...and I will...but today I just needed to mourn.
He keeps me smiling all the way through it...tries to keep the mood light and teases me about little things to keep me on my toes. I know this is his way of trying to change the mood. I know I will be back to myself in a couple of days...I just have to get used to a lonely bed, missing kisses and cuddles...not to mention the hot sex!!!
I will start the count down to him coming home and back in his arms...Just need to let a few more tears out and all will be good again. Because there is so much to look forward to...His eyes, his hands, his lips, his arms, his amazing body...the smell of him when I snuggle his back in the middle of the night, the way he buries my nose in the back of my hair, the way my hand fits in his...basically everything!
I have a mission...I must find a job where I can be with him always...and this pain can be gone. I need him and he needs me....we need each other! He makes my world better, he makes my world the kind of world I want to enjoy and take in all of its beauty..he makes me better.
Tomorrow is a new day...and another day closer to him...
Until tomorrow.
